Wheresday One-Liners

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!

–Broadway & Waverly

Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Overheard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: queenofscots

Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?

–Costco, Brooklyn

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Overheard by: Special K

Posted on December 6, 2020
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Couples, Crying, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Or Timbuktu?

Guy: I like to travel a lot.
Girl: Ohhh! Have you ever been to New Jersey?

–72nd & Central Park West

Overheard by: Ross

Posted on December 3, 2020
Girls, Guys, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Santa Finally Goes Legit

Asian kid: Why did you decide to start driving now?
Middle-aged thug: I drive trucks. Now it’s just time to tell the government.

–DMV, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on October 28, 2020
Asians, Brooklyn, Government, Teens, Thugs, Travel

The Art of Conversation Has Died with the Rise of the iPod

White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.
Spanish guy: Yeah, I've been to Santa Cruz.
White guy #2: What? Santa Claus?

–48th & 6th

Posted on September 27, 2020
Default, Foreigners, Guys, Holidays, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Stupidity, Travel, White People, Words

One Life to Wednesday One-Liner

Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let's go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?

–Union Square

Overheard by: serena

Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Elliot

Frantic crazy guy: I'm gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that's life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.

–Train into Penn Station

Posted on July 6, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Asians, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Dads, Ethnic Food, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Philosophy, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Street, Suits, The Village, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.

–L train

Posted on June 13, 2020
Girls, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Travel

At Least I Got a Good Wanding

Man: Wow, you sure travel light.
Lady suit carrying only a laptop case and purse: Yeah, that’s what happens when they fucking lose your luggage.

–Taxi line, JFK

Posted on June 10, 2020
JFK Airport, Suits, Travel

Wednesday One-liners Join the Jet Set

Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.

–66th between CPW and Columbus

Overheard by: Charlie

Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.

–St. Mark’s Place

Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.

–West 4th & Jane

Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…

–F train

Overheard by: Paul Eng

Posted on May 15, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, Men, Money & Class, Not New York, On Cell, On the Subway, Street, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

It's Only Travel If You're Going Somewhere Humans Live

Girl #1: Okay, but I don't want to be out too late tonight because I have to travel tomorrow.
Girl #2: You do *not* have to *travel* tomorrow…you have to get on a bus to Atlantic City tomorrow.

–E 19th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Silent J

Posted on March 31, 2020
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Public Transportation, Travel

Ladies and Gentlemen: Finally, the Reason the 7 Train Smells Like That

Employee #1: Did you know one company will fly you to outer space for $40 million?
Employee #2: I would never do that. I’d shit myself.
Employee #1: I shit myself even going to Queens!

–Broad & Beaver

Posted on March 4, 2020
Coworkers, Lower Manhattan, Queens, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport