Night Train, Thunderbird and Wednesday One-Liners

Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.

–1 Train

Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Oliver

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thompson

Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!

–Union Square

Posted on October 17, 2021
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Christianity, Couples, Crazies, Girls, Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, Sex, Strangers, Street, Suits, The Village, Thievery, Times Square, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

It’s Really Not the University’s Fault

Woman #1: Did you hear? We’re going into Iran.
Woman #2: Really? Why?
Woman #1: Dunno.
Woman #2: Wasn’t there, like, an earthquake there?
Woman #1: When? Recently?
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Well, so much for our Princeton educations.

–Madame X, Houston St.

Overheard by: Djlindee

Posted on October 13, 2021
Manhattan, Stupidity, Travel, Women, Yuppies

Which Is My Default Answer for All Issues Involving Men

50-something woman to coworker at Burger King: And he said, “Why you always coming in here, dressed up like you're at the beach? What is that?” And I was like, “Yeah, please, put me on a real beach, in like Dominican Republic or something.”
Coworker: He probably just wanted to see you in your bikini.

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: … But I know I wouldn't

Posted on July 19, 2021
Airports, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, LaGuardia Airport, Questions, Travel, Wishes & desires

Wow, “Long Island” and “Better” in One Discussion

Suit #1: How long have you lived here?
Suit #2: How old are you? Probably longer than you have been alive.
Suit #1: Born and raised in New York, huh?
Suit #2: No, a farm in PA. Got the fuck out of there, though. Met a girl from New York–well actually, Long Island–married her and moved out here. Thought she had money. Yeah…fooled the shit out of me.
Suit #3: Ha, you were that close to being better than all of us.

–Wall & Water

Posted on July 3, 2021
Manhattan, Marriage, Money & Class, People, Places, Sex & Relationships, Suits, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

She Totally Got Sodomized by the Hulk

Girl: I talked to Jackie. She got some kind of bug in India!
Guy: Oh, no! What happened?
Girl: I don’t think I should talk about this now.
Guy: Whatever, no one cares.
Girl: Okay. Well, she was shitting green.
Guy: Oh, my God! Wait, I should not be laughing, that is not funny at all.
Girl: Yeah, and the doctor asked her to bring in a stool sample and she was shitting so much that she brought one in a half hour later. The doctors were like, “What the fuck?”.

–Union Square Regal Cinemas

Posted on April 25, 2021
Backdoor, Girls, Guys, Illness, Lower Manhattan, Movie Theaters, Travel

Go Back to Connecticut!

WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway.

–Midtown comics

Posted on April 2, 2021
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Store, Tourism, Travel, White People

And the Forty?

TSA employee to people in line: All liquids and gels are prohibited beyond this point. Dispose of them now.
Four-year-old boy to father: Aw, man! Does that mean I have to get rid of my pimp juice?

–LaGuardia