Chick #1: You know if I was going to be homeless, I wouldn’t choose New York. I’d go someplace warm.
Chick #2: Yeah, I’d go to Florida.
Chick #1: Or New Orleans. Well, not now, but it would have been good.
Chick #2: At least Myrtle Beach.
Chick #1: Yeah. If I were homeless I wouldn’t stay here. I’d go to Aruba.
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Tricia Morall
Girl #1: So Becca’s gonna drive to California from here?
Girl #2: Nope, she’s taking a plane.
Girl #3: Ha, ha! Yeah, duh! Wow, you’re stupid! How could you drive across the ocean?
–LaGuardia, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Amelia
Man: Is this where we get off?
–Times Square shuttle
Conductor: This is the last stop, New York Penn Station. All passengers must exit the train. Last stop.
Chick #1: Is this our stop?
Chick #2: Did he say Penn Station?
Chick #3: This is so confusing. It’s not like taking a plane, where you know your destination.
–NJ Transit train, Penn Station
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Wife: Bill can’t fly because of the wheelchair. He can’t get out of it.
Husband: Surely there are planes with wheelchair access. We should ask for him.
Wife: Please, like he never asked himself? He just can’t fly, ever.
Husband: That’s not true. What do you think Teddy Roosevelt did when he wanted to go somewhere? He was in a wheelchair and he was the President so he had lots of places to go. Of course there had to be planes with wheelchair areas.
Wife: Oh, I never thought of him. You’re right. We should really tell Bill about that.
–JFK
Guy: Yo, the 1/9 train always smells like ass! I think it’s the fragrance they use.
–1 train
Stewardess: Ladies and gentlemen, the overhea[r]d lights will be turned off during this flight, so if you’d like a reading light, just push the button above you…The other button.
–Delta Song plane, JFK
Overheard by: Lily
Girl #1: I was on the subway once and missed my stop and ended up in Brooklyn. Not hipster Brooklyn, I’m talking about fried chicken and people sitting on curbs Brooklyn.
Girl #2: Wow, were you scared?
Girl #1: Yeah, so I just asked a toothless 80 year old man where the closest subway station was.
–8th Street between University & 5th
Overheard by: Jasmin Livingston
Hobo: Can anyone spare $100? I’m trying to get to Hawaii.
A man hands him a dollar bill.
Hobo: Can any one spare $99? I’m trying to get to Hawaii.
–12th & 7th
Overheard by: Zimmy
