Stewardess on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we know it’s hot. We’re hoping to have you underway as soon as we can. In the meantime, if you’ll reach into the seat pocket in front of you and remove the safety information card, you’ll find that it makes a nice fan.
–Airtran plane, LaGuardia
Overheard by: Seat 16A
Dude #1: But I really want to go to Arabia.
Dude #2: Nice.
Dude #1: Like Iran or some shit like that…I want to do those Arabian countries.
Dude #2: Ha! And have some Arabian night.
Dude #1: Fuck, yeah. But shit, I really need some Diesel jeans.
–Union Square
Overheard by: buffy
Suit: So my Dad just got back from New Orleans.
Girl: Wow; did he say it was like a disaster down there?
Suit: No, he said it was like a fucking flood went through there, idiot.
–Times Square shuttle
Hipster girl: I though she was like, moving to Africa or some shit to save the children or something.
Hipster boy: Well that didn’t happen. She moved to Williamsburg to save the trendy from hurting themselves with accessories.
–Happy Valley, East 27th Street
Chick #1: You know if I was going to be homeless, I wouldn’t choose New York. I’d go someplace warm.
Chick #2: Yeah, I’d go to Florida.
Chick #1: Or New Orleans. Well, not now, but it would have been good.
Chick #2: At least Myrtle Beach.
Chick #1: Yeah. If I were homeless I wouldn’t stay here. I’d go to Aruba.
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Tricia Morall
Girl #1: So Becca’s gonna drive to California from here?
Girl #2: Nope, she’s taking a plane.
Girl #3: Ha, ha! Yeah, duh! Wow, you’re stupid! How could you drive across the ocean?
–LaGuardia, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Amelia
Man: Is this where we get off?
–Times Square shuttle
Conductor: This is the last stop, New York Penn Station. All passengers must exit the train. Last stop.
Chick #1: Is this our stop?
Chick #2: Did he say Penn Station?
Chick #3: This is so confusing. It’s not like taking a plane, where you know your destination.
–NJ Transit train, Penn Station
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Wife: Bill can’t fly because of the wheelchair. He can’t get out of it.
Husband: Surely there are planes with wheelchair access. We should ask for him.
Wife: Please, like he never asked himself? He just can’t fly, ever.
Husband: That’s not true. What do you think Teddy Roosevelt did when he wanted to go somewhere? He was in a wheelchair and he was the President so he had lots of places to go. Of course there had to be planes with wheelchair areas.
Wife: Oh, I never thought of him. You’re right. We should really tell Bill about that.
–JFK
