Passenger: There’s something wrong at the UN so I have to go in and fix it.
–F train, Carroll St
Overheard by: confused grad student
Passenger: There’s something wrong at the UN so I have to go in and fix it.
–F train, Carroll St
Overheard by: confused grad student
White girl: Since I quit, I have been blowing out the biggest boogers in the mornings.
Black guy: Boogers? I been blowin’ moons. Like the moons of Jupiter.
–1 Train
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Chick #1: Did California even exist yet?
Chick #2: No, it belonged to the Spaniards.
Chick #3: Yeah, that was before we taught them about manifest destiny.
Chick #1: Yo, manifest destiny is genocide.
Chick #3: Hi, did we not just discuss me and genocide earlier?
–Christopher & Gay
Businessman lady #1: See, she always finds a way to make things about her!
Businessman lady #2: Um, she just found out she has cancer.
Businessman lady #1: So? I am getting married, it should be all about me, focus all on me. Now we have to make it about her! Ugh.
Businessman lady #2: You’re not getting married till next year.
Businessman lady #1: I know that, but I am getting married. Anyway, cancer is like the flu, almost everyone is going to get it. She is not going to die from it.
Businessman lady #2: I can’t believe you. You are so crass sometimes. Ugh.
Businessman lady #1: Oh, shit! What if she really does die? Then it will really be all about her. Crap.
–Wall & Water
