Old lady: I like this address book, but I want one with ABCs on the side.
Store guy: Well, this one has tabs, but no letters…
Old lady: Why don’t you have any that have ABCs?
Store guy: This collection was made in Japan…
Old lady: And what, they don’t go by ABCs there?
–MoMA Design Store, West 53rd Street
Girl #1: So I know some Chinese now.
Girl #2 Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. I learned how to say our phone number from hearing you order food all the time.
–1 train
Overheard by: Karl Sturmgewehr
Little girl: Mommy, what’s this?
Mom: Japanese art. You know, like in Mulan.
–The Met
Asian girl: I really like sleep sex.
White girl #1: What’s that?
Asian girl: You know, when you’re sleeping and you wake up and you’re having sex. Sleep sex.
White girl #2: You mean getting raped?
–1st Avenue & 9th Street
Teen Asian boy: So, the spelling bee–
Teen Indian girl: Was one of the kids Indian?
Teen Asian boy: Yeah, there was an Indian kid and a white kid.
Teen Indian girl: So typical. My parents entered me in a spelling bee and I was fucking horrible.
Teen Asian boy: Ha, ha, ha! Anyway, there were those two kids and I just wanted to throw PlayStations at them and yell, “I’m setting you free! I’m setting you free!”
–McDonalds, Union Square
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Cheerleader girl #1: Terry, what are those people doing? Is that fake blood?
Cheerleader girl #2: I think they’re representing Chinese torture or something.
–51st & 7th
Overheard by: Alvin Cheung
Little girl #1: He took out everything after we bought the house. The refrigerator, the stove, the toilet…
Little girl #2: Was he Korean? I mean, I’m Korean but that sounds so Korean.
Little girl #1: Nah, he was Italian.
Little girl #2: Koreans, Italians, French…no difference.
–Flushing
White guy: Dude, I’m going to be the only non-Asian at this party.
Asian guy: No, man, there are going to be tons of Koreans there.
–6 train
Overheard by: Elisabeth
White girl: Hey, what are your pants made of? They’re really shiny.
Asian guy: Oh, that’s probably the grease from all the food I eat. I eat a lot of greasy food. Oh, and soy milk. I spilled soy milk on myself; I “soyled” myself.
–6 train
Overheard by: LiAps
A little Asian boy sneezes without covering his mouth.
Black lady: Excuse you!
Asian mom: He’s only 3, he didn’t know any better.
Black lady: Haven’t you heard of bird flu, motherfucka!
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Chris Roberts
Girl #1: I feel like shit. I think I’ve got the Asian Bird Flu.
Girl #2: Don’t you mean Avian Bird Flu?
Girl #1: Whatever.
–56th & Broadway
Overheard by: K.M
Woman: Isn’t it here in America?
Teen boy: Naw…it’s in Japan. All these people be dying from it. Thank god Bush won’t let it in the country.
–Associated Supermarket, Astoria
Overheard by: Demy
Asian guy #1: Yeah, but I’ve only been to Chinatown like…once or twice.
Asian guy #2: Still, it’s like Muslims. You only have to go to Mecca once, but you still went.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Susan A
