Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks!
–D Train
A man has a bag full of young dogs.
Chick: Oh look! It’s a pouch of puppies!
Angered Man: Puppy pouch.
–5th St. & 2nd Ave.
Former Columbia student: By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large.
— East Village, private party full of recent Columbia alumni
Blowhard: America, like any country, is full of fucking idiots. I hate democracy because I hate these fucking people. Fuck democracy. I believe in fucking monarchy.
–Belly Bar
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it!
–36th Street
Woman: Usually when the bill is over $70 a person I steal something.
–Bensonhurst
A driver almost runs over a kid.
Driver: Look at the light! Look at the light!
Kid: Look at the street!
Driver: Go back to Russia, you fuck!
–Bensonhurst
An activist interrupts a group of yuppie chicks having a discussion.
Activist: Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Chick #1: Sorry.
Activist: Have a good day.
He leaves them to their conversation.
Chick #1: Then he’s been getting after me about how I’m selfish, and about how selfish I am.
–Union Square
Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
–Bowery
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey.
–Murray Hill deli
Overheard by: Neelam S.
