Blowhard: America, like any country, is full of fucking idiots. I hate democracy because I hate these fucking people. Fuck democracy. I believe in fucking monarchy.
–Belly Bar
Blowhard: America, like any country, is full of fucking idiots. I hate democracy because I hate these fucking people. Fuck democracy. I believe in fucking monarchy.
–Belly Bar
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it!
–36th Street
Woman: Usually when the bill is over $70 a person I steal something.
–Bensonhurst
A driver almost runs over a kid.
Driver: Look at the light! Look at the light!
Kid: Look at the street!
Driver: Go back to Russia, you fuck!
–Bensonhurst
An activist interrupts a group of yuppie chicks having a discussion.
Activist: Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Chick #1: Sorry.
Activist: Have a good day.
He leaves them to their conversation.
Chick #1: Then he’s been getting after me about how I’m selfish, and about how selfish I am.
–Union Square
Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
–Bowery
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey.
–Murray Hill deli
Overheard by: Neelam S.
Guy #1: It’s a lunch date.
Guy #2: It’s lunch, but it’s not a date. Man, she’s a midget!
–Union Square
Male employee: Thank you, and have a nice day!
Female employee: It’s night time, you say have a good night. See the dark outside?
–McDonald’s, Saint Mark’s Place
Irate man: …so what?! Does she want me to buy her another dog?!
–Perry & Hudson
