Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.
–PATH train
Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.
–PATH train
Suit on cell: It's not that I don't like people, I just think that they're expendable.
–Union Square Cafe
20-something to visiting family: We are about to go up a bunch of stairs. If you complain, you will be pushed back down them.
–Mulberry & Canal
Laughing suit to others: So, yeah, I just stepped over the body.
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Mother to small crying child: Honey, I did listen to you, but I can't make myself care.
–V Train
Overheard by: Hunter
Teen boy, watching a running woman in burka: When you see one of those runnin’, you gotta run for cover!
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: someone’s mom
Chick on cell: Fuck! I thought I told you not to touch that, asshole!
Chick #2: Watch your mouth, please. Not all of us want to hear that.
Chick on cell: Hey, I’ve got a ham hock and a cheesecake in my purse. I’ll give it to you if you mind your own business. Fair enough?
–F train
Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks!
–D Train
A man has a bag full of young dogs.
Chick: Oh look! It’s a pouch of puppies!
Angered Man: Puppy pouch.
–5th St. & 2nd Ave.
Former Columbia student: By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large.
— East Village, private party full of recent Columbia alumni
Blowhard: America, like any country, is full of fucking idiots. I hate democracy because I hate these fucking people. Fuck democracy. I believe in fucking monarchy.
–Belly Bar
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it!
–36th Street
Woman: Usually when the bill is over $70 a person I steal something.
–Bensonhurst
