Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means!
–D Train
Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means!
–D Train
Girl on cell: Hey, Jim…Yeah I’m on the bus. We’re at 8th Street, but they’re loading a cripple on, so I’m going to be late….I know!
Later in the ride…
Girl on cell: Hey, Jimmy…Yeah, now they’re unloading the cripple. You guys should just start eating. I know! Didn’t people used to be housebound? Don’t they do that anymore?
–B63 bus, Park Slope
Overheard by: lish
Girl: We used to go out–he was wonderful–so interesting, caring, funny, and great lover. But I dumped him because he was gay.
Guy: Are you sure?
Girl: …Well, maybe he wasn’t a gay after all…Yes, he definitely wasn’t.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: goga
Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.
–PATH train
Suit on cell: It's not that I don't like people, I just think that they're expendable.
–Union Square Cafe
20-something to visiting family: We are about to go up a bunch of stairs. If you complain, you will be pushed back down them.
–Mulberry & Canal
Laughing suit to others: So, yeah, I just stepped over the body.
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Mother to small crying child: Honey, I did listen to you, but I can't make myself care.
–V Train
Overheard by: Hunter
Teen boy, watching a running woman in burka: When you see one of those runnin’, you gotta run for cover!
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: someone’s mom
Chick on cell: Fuck! I thought I told you not to touch that, asshole!
Chick #2: Watch your mouth, please. Not all of us want to hear that.
Chick on cell: Hey, I’ve got a ham hock and a cheesecake in my purse. I’ll give it to you if you mind your own business. Fair enough?
–F train
Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks!
–D Train
A man has a bag full of young dogs.
Chick: Oh look! It’s a pouch of puppies!
Angered Man: Puppy pouch.
–5th St. & 2nd Ave.
Former Columbia student: By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large.
— East Village, private party full of recent Columbia alumni
