Chick #1: My mom just sent me a text message.
Chick #2: What’d she say?
Chick #1: "I love you." And I said, "Is this your first text message?" instead of saying "I love you" back. She said it was her first time! So I told her, "You’re no longer a virgin." My mom lost her text-message virginity to me!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: tanechka
Woman #1: I think we should beat him up.
Woman #2: I’m a Muslim Buddhist Jew. I don’t wanna listen to his Christian rock!
Woman #3: Hee hee…yeah!
–Financial District
Girl #1: He was a narcissistic asshole, and I’m glad to be rid of him, but god I’ll miss that big dick.
Girl #2: There’s better dick in the sea, and I’m sure you’ll come upon some.
–Union Square
Overheard by: I feel you girl
Blonde: I hate waiting for people! It’s so boring!
Brunette: Well, what do you think I was doing for the past 40 minutes?
Blonde: Oh, wow! Sitting outside?!
–Outside I.S. 34, Staten Island
Girl: I’m looking for a name of book that has the word “eliminate” in it.
Store guy: Okay. Let me see. Hmm…It doesn’t look like anything came up in the search.
Girl: I know that’s the word! I know it is. I really need this book!
Store guy: Okay. I’ll try and search again.
Girl: It’s “eliminate” with an I, not an E.
Store guy: Oh, you mean illuminate?
–Barnes & Noble, 82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: christina rusnak
Chick #1: Jessica, I’m not kidding, he looked like a beaver!
Chick #2: Christine, that’s vulgar!
Chick #1: No, but seriously — like a chipmunk!
Chick #2: But why wouldn’t you say ‘chipmunk’ instead?
Chick #1: Because he seriously looked like a real beaver!
–77th & Madison
Bimbette: Not a lot of people do meth anymore. It’s like one in ten million.
Guy: What?! It’s like the crack of the Midwest. Everyone does it.
Bimbette: No, it only seems like that because they’re all in one state.
Guy: Which one?
Bimbette: Oklahoma.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Is Kathy Ireland, the designer, one of them?
Blonde #1: Look — a statue of Gandhi.
Blonde #2: Look how skinny he is.
Blonde #1: I’m hella-jealous.
Blonde #2: Ditto. I wonder how he did it.
Blonde #1: Anorexia, probably.
Blonde #2: Figures. Maybe him and Nicole Richie are related [giggles].
Blonde #1: I don’t get it — she’s not Indian, is she?
–Union Square
Overheard by: kwhatwhat
Girl: I’m an atheist.
Guy: What’s an atheist?
Girl: It means I don’t believe in God.
Guy: They have a word for that?
–Nectar Coffee Shop, 79th & Madison
Blonde: I want a baby.
Brunette: You can’t have a baby yet.
Blonde: Why?
Brunette: You just can’t!
Blonde: What do you mean ‘I just can’t’? You’re not the ruler of my vagina!
–Stuy Town
