Professor: All the students in the classroom are all the same — no one moves out of their little box.
Blonde: Everyone is the same unless they are different, except that they are the same.
–Modern Lit. Class, NYU
Overheard by: Brenda
Professor: All the students in the classroom are all the same — no one moves out of their little box.
Blonde: Everyone is the same unless they are different, except that they are the same.
–Modern Lit. Class, NYU
Overheard by: Brenda
Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions!
–FIT
Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework!
–46th between 7th & 8th
Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Kristin
Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm.
–Slainte, 1st & Bowery
Overheard by: Genevieve
Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age.
–Columbia University Medical Center
Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong.
–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU
Overheard by: The King Adrock
Woman #1: When we got off the cruise we had to adapt to having land legs.
Woman #2: Well, sea legs is probably our natural state, from way back.
–100th & Broadway
Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: rad dude
Blonde: Well, I want to visit that country where they speak African!
Redhead: Oh, you want to go to Africa to learn how to speak African? That is so cool.
Black businessman shaking his head: Africa is a continent, not a country, [sighs], and there is no language called ‘African.’
Black businessman departs at 34th Street.
Blonde: How’s he going to tell me that when we went to college and he didn’t? Plus, I heard President Bush call Africa a country in a speech.
–A train, 14th St
Overheard by: LDofHarlem
Girl #1: You could put yourself on a wait list.
Girl #2: Do you think I need to?
Girl #1: [Pause] W-A-I-T ‘wait,’ not ‘weight.’
Girl #2: Oh.
Girl #1: It’s bad to internalize.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Girl #1: Yeah, that French kid’s pretty hot.
Girl #2: His butt is like…it’s like a croissant!
Girl #1: Ohmigod, ew. But yeah, it’s true.
–1 train
Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know.
Bimbette #1: It’s probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.
–Times Square
Chick #1: Like I lost 18 pounds, does it show?
Chick #2: Yeah! How did you do it?
Chick #1: I stop eating at 4 every day.
Chick #2: Wow, is that healthy?
Chick #1: I dunno, it works. It started when my trainer said,
“Bitch, you’re fat. Face it, your BMI is too high.”
–Port Authority ladies’ room
Overheard by: Bibi B
Woman: So I asked him, “How come I make 3 million dollars a year and you still don’t want me?” And he said, “Because you are a fat fucking cow!”
–Astor Place
Overheard by: bogica
Blonde: Yeah, so I talked to him on the phone about three weeks ago, and he was saying how we haven’t chilled ’cause he’s been in and out of court… I don’t know. I wish he’d call.
Brunette: Hey, maybe he’s in jail.
Blonde: Damn… I still didn’t get my lighter back!
–Park Slope
