Blonde: You know what I did this morning?
Brunette: What?
Blonde: I plucked out my treasure trail with tweezers. Pain isn’t even the word.
Brunette: What the fuck? Why?
Blonde: It was too short to wax and I was impatient…
Brunette: Ummm…why didn’t you just shave it then?
Blonde: Oh hell no! It’d grow back like the next day! Shit, I’d pluck out my whole crotch if I knew I wouldn’t pass out from the pain!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mistress Silver
Shiksa #1: So he goes, "Things changed, I moved to the city." What the fuck kind of bullshit excuse is that?
Shiksa #2: Oh he moved to the city? Whoa….the city Jew is a whole different breed of Jew.
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: In agreement
Chick #1: So I got my Botox the other day, and —
Chick #2: Wait, you use Botox? Why?
Chick #1: Um, because my insurance covers it? Duh?
–White Horse Tavern, Hudson St
Overheard by: C.I.
College girl: Excuse me… excuse me… who is Darfur?
Guy: Are you kidding me? You need to get educated… you haven’t heard of the genocide there?
College girl: Pshhh… we pay people to gather information. Why do I need to know it?
–4/5/6 platform, 96th St
Overheard by: Sheena Tahilramani
Girl #1: Which Russian mystic man has his penis on display?
Girl #2: Stalin?
–Marymount Manhattan College
Girl #1: You know how deodorant gives you cancer?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, I’d rather take the risk, because nobody’s going to like you for being smelly.
–R train
Girl #1: I’ve been doing eHarmony, and all of the guys they’ve matched me with have fit my personality really well.
Girl #2: I want to try eHarmony.
Queer: You’re getting married in, like, three months.
Girl #2: I know… I’m just curious.
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: I Know a Good Divorce Lawyer
Blonde: I hate hippies.
Brunette: Me too! My mom said in the ’60s, hippies were worse than homeless people!
Blonde: I used to be afraid of hippies as a kid. My mom used to threaten that I would get kidnapped by hippies if I was bad.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: matt
Girl #1: Yeah, I need to buy a new cell phone; mine is broken.
Girl #2: How come.
Girl #1: I dropped it in the sand during my vacation.
Girl #2: That’s how it broke?
Girl #1: No, it was fine but the sand was all over it, so I decided to rinse it clean with pouring water from the bathroom sink.
–Central Park
Girl #1: So if I get the Big Mac but get a Diet Coke, it won’t matter, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, because the Diet Coke has like no calories, so it will be like just eating a hamburger without having anything to drink.
Girl #1: So I won’t get fat?
Girl #2: No, totally not.
–McDonalds, 69th St
