Girl #1: Ha ha ha. Who said that? Stewie Griffin, right?
Girl #2: No, Kim Jong-il! Oh my god!
Girl #1: I’ve never been more ashamed of myself.
–Starbucks, W 41st
Girl #1: Ha ha ha. Who said that? Stewie Griffin, right?
Girl #2: No, Kim Jong-il! Oh my god!
Girl #1: I’ve never been more ashamed of myself.
–Starbucks, W 41st
Blonde Teen: So I’m taking that religion class.
Brunette Teen: Oh yeah? The one where you read the Bible right?
Blonde teen: Yeah that one. And get this, we are about to start reading the Book of Proverbs.
Brunette Teen: Oh My God! I didn’t know the Bible had a grammar section.
Blonde Teen: Me neither!!
Brunette Teen: Oh man, I bet it totally tells you how to speak like God… Except properly, you know?
Blonde Teen: [Gasp] I bet it totally does.
Brunette Teen: Ugh! I wish I had taken that class.
–The Original Ray’s Pizza
Long Island JAP #1: Are all New York City girls drug-addict whores?
Long Island JAP #2: Yeah, but so are girls from Long Island. There’s really no difference.
Random Upper East Side JAP: Oh my god, can I just interject for a second here? Long Island girls and New York City girls are not the same thing. It is not okay to wear Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirts, and we’re all addicted to drugs because we don’t have gross Long Island weed and coke that is ninety-nine percent baking soda. And we’re whores because we’re like a thousand times hotter than you’ll ever be, even when we’re not wearing makeup. Plus, I don’t tawk like this.
Long Island JAP #1: Wow, that was, like, seriously uncalled for.
Upper East Side JAP: Yeah well, I’d rather cut off my own arms than live in Long Island. Also, I’m just high, so don’t really pay attention to me.
–Serafina, Upper East Side
Girl #1: Lately, I just haven’t felt like going out. I’ve turned into such a…What’s the word? A homophobe.
Girl #2: What? Don’t you mean a homophiliac?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s what I meant! God, why can’t I think straight today?
–Forever 21, W 34th St
Overheard by: rolling my eyes in the dressing room next door
Bimbette #1: I swear, her apartment has the best view in the whole city.
Bimbette #2: Really? What’s the view of?
Bimbette #1: You can see the Empire State Building and, uh, that other building. It’s really great.
Bimbette #2: When were you there?
Bimbette #1: I wasn’t, she just told me about it.
–STK, Little West 12th St
Overheard by: I’m convinced
Bimbette #1: This new dress code is gonna suck! Like half my paycheck is on clothes already!
Bimbette #2: I think you’re ok.
Bimbette #1: You sure? My boob fell out like in front of everybody yesterday.
–Elevator, 45 W 45th St
Overheard by: MaryMary
Bimbettte, looking at a painting of Joan of Arc: Oooh, that’s so pretty!
Boyfriend: Did you see the movie?
Bimbette: Yeah, didn’t she die or something?
–The Met
Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire
NYU chick : Wait, he’s 28!
Friend : Yeah, I know. And he’s Asian
–Uptown 6 train
Frat boy: So are you gonna come out drinking tonight?
College girl: Uh no, I haven’t been feeling so well, I’m allergic to rain I think.
Frat boy: Ummm, it’s not raining.
College girl: Yeah, it must have been earlier or something.
–17th & 3rd
