I Stowed It in the Crawl-Space with Your Dignity

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Posted on March 30, 2023
California, Default, Guys, Moms, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

The Sierra Club Got a Restraining Order Against Her

Woman #1: Hey! Look! Trees!
Woman #2: No, you can't get one. Not after you killed the last one we gave you.

De Anza Flea Market
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on March 24, 2023
California, Death & dying, Default, Shopping, Stores, Weirdness, Women

For Those Who've Lost Theirs, We Offer Replacements for a Small Fee.

Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.

Oakland Airport, California

Overheard by: kat

Posted on March 23, 2023
Airports & flights, California, Clothes, Default, Flight attendants, Gadgets, Guys, Offers and requests, Public transportation

For All Your Disfiguration Needs

Metro guy to friend: And in the bathroom, under the sink, we have eye clippers…

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on March 14, 2023
California, Gadgets, Guys, Malls, Weirdness

The Website?

Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California

Posted on March 10, 2023
Animals, California, Fears, Friends, Girls, Insects, Pee, Questions, Sensory experiences

That's More of an Orange County Accessory

Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.

Craft Show
San Diego, California

Posted on March 9, 2023
California, Customers, Default, Employees, Family ties, History, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

Lindsay Lohan: “How Come My Community Service Never Involves Martini Glasses?”

Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That's disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?

Bus Stop
San Diego, California

Posted on March 3, 2023
Body parts, Bus, California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Questions, Weirdness

You're Certainly the Most Supportive Guidance Counselor I've Had So Far

Teen boy ordering sub, on cell: You like the way I say “delicious?”

Carson, California

Overheard by: I've heard it said worse

Posted on March 1, 2023
California, Compliments, Default, Guys, On the phone, Questions, Teens, Words

And I Haven't Been Mowed in Quite Some Time

Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…

Murrieta, California

Overheard by: I hope I don't become my mother

Posted on February 18, 2023
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Moms, Money, Queers, Sex

Or Marcia, from Accounting

NASA intern guy: So, is frosting evil, too? Just like something was evil yesterday… What was it? Something fluffy and ugly… Like flamingos, or something.

NASA Ames Research Center
Moffett Field, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on February 14, 2023
California, Coworkers, Questions