Clerks

Customer: I’m looking for a book. The computer said it was in stock when I was here before but it wasn’t on the shelf. Can you check to see if it’s saying that it’s still in stock?
Clerk: Sure.
Customer: It’s called Drag Diaries.
Clerk: Yeah, it’s saying that there’s one in stock but we sold a copy in May. That might be the one we’re showing as still in stock.
Customer: Right.
Clerk: It would be in gay studies. You can check again.
Customer: Then do you have anything on crystal healing?

–The Strand

Cashier in Jack’s 99 Cent store: Here’s your change, 62-cents
Woman: But I just gave you $62, and since everything here costs $1, how come you’re giving me 62 cents back?
Cashier: Everything here is 99-cents
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah

— Jack’s 99-Cent Store, Midtown

Where: Time Square Toys R Us

Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please?
Customer: You’re not my type.

Chick: I’m looking for a book on wars.
Librarian: Okay. Anything in particular?
Chick: Oh, you know. Just whatever.

–NY Science Library

Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not?

–McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place

The cashier scans an old lady’s ricotta cheese.

Cashier: Why didn’t you get the bigger one?
Old Lady: ‘Cause I’ll eat it all! This way I have a limit.

–Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst

Four-year-old: I was going to Queens.
Employee: Oh, Queens?
Four-year-old: Yeah, it wasn't part of the United States, it was part of Long Island.

–McNally Jackson Bookstore

Overheard by: Amyjo

Customer: So, what casino did you go to?
Clerk: The Taj Mahell.

–Smoke Shop, East Village

Overheard by: Evan

Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!

–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn

UPS guy: Hey, man, last dude who chased me got killed.
Guy eating fruit cup: Mmm-hmmmmmm…

–46th & 6th

Overheard by: GoodToKnow