Dude, You'd Steal the One-Liners Off a Wednesday

One-armed cracked-out dude to equally cracked-out girlfriend: And he's lookin' at me like he ain't never seen nobody stealin' before!

–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick

Overheard by: matthias

Drunk man to random girl on street: I mean, I stole this girls' shoelaces, and then she got really mad at me…

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Comedy show peddler: Who wants to buy some stolen shit? (pause) Nah, just kidding, who wants to see a comedy show?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ali

Woman with pink hair to friend: Fuck that bitch, she still stole my clothes when I was in jail.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Renny

Man to woman, about his father: Yeah, he was so great, so smart… A drug addict. He was always there for me. Like, if I needed something, anything, he'd go steal it for me. That's what sticks with you, you know?

–1 Train

Overheard by: RDM

Posted on October 17, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Clothing, Couples, Drugs, Drunks, Friends, Insults, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Prison, Shoes, Strangers, Street, Theater & Dance, Thievery, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Weren't You Jamaican Yesterday?

Teenager: I don't know if I would wear a fur coat, ever.
Friend: I know I would, just as long as it wasn't raccoon…raccoons are just gross.
Hobo with heavy Russian accent: In mother Russia raccoon wear you!

–LIRR

Posted on October 11, 2022
Animals & Nature, Clothing, Friends, Hobos, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness

Here Comes Return Season

Guy: This sweater is huge!
Girl: Get fat.
Salesguy: Ha, ha! Wow, I needed that.

–Bloomingdale’s, 59th & 3rd

Posted on September 7, 2022
Advice, Cashiers, Clothing, Diet/Weight, Friends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Store

Have You Forgetten Isadora Duncan?

Swarthy clerk to pretty girl: Why do you wear that scarf like that?
Pretty girl: Because it's pretty.
Swarthy clerk, smiling: Won't be so pretty when someone strangles you with it.

–167th St

Posted on September 4, 2022
Beauty, Clerks, Clothing, Girls, Physical appearance, Questions, Violence, Washington Heights and Inwood

And Today It’s Me

Man in full clown uniform: Come on, sweetie.
Lady friend in nice skirt, blouse, and heels: God, this is so awkward.
Man in full clown uniform: Look, I have to work hard so that at least one of us looks good.

–79th & Broadway

Overheard by: tickled passerbyer

Posted on August 14, 2022
Clothing, Couples, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday Wears the One-Liners in This Family

Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!

–73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.

–Columbia University

Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!

–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza

Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bih.

Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Kayla K

Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Geologist

Posted on July 22, 2022
Body Parts, Clothing, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Family Ties, Girls, Menstruation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Street, Subway conductors, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Sweat, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

…But Won't Your Grandma Be Wearing the Same Thing?

College girl: I have nothing to wear to the party tonight.
College guy: You could wear that thing you wore last night.
College girl: I can't do that! Plus, it's a theme party.
College guy: Well, you could wear that naked thing…?
College girl: Do you think I could get away with that?
College guy: Well, it's lace, so it's sort of Victorian.

–6 Train

Overheard by: sort of…

Posted on June 18, 2022
Celebrations/Parties, Clothing, On the Subway, Sorority Girls

From the Whitney Houston Collection

Queer eye: Lindsay Lohan wore this dress on the cover of Teen Vogue; ever since then, it’s been like…crack cocaine.

–Marc Jacobs, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Mat Triebner

Posted on May 31, 2022
About Celebrities, Clothing, Cocaine, Movies, News, Queer guys, The Village, Time

“…or give him the back door. Then he’ll forgive anything.”

Girl #1: I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have slept with that guy.
Girl #2: So what kind of sweater are we looking for?
Girl #1: Anything nice that proves how much I love him.
Girl #2: You should get him a white sweater. White is the color of remorse, I think.
Girl #1: But then he’ll understand I cheated on him. He might actually be suspicious already if I buy him a present without an apparent reason.
Girl #2: Just make him dinner then.

–Banana Republic, 5th Ave.

Posted on May 21, 2022
Clothing, Friends, Infidelity, Relationships, Store

Clothing