Pointing hobo: Your zipper! Hahaha!
Whitey: It’s a button fly.
Hobo: Goddamn. Second time today…
–Flushing & Portland, Navy Yard, Brooklyn
Pointing hobo: Your zipper! Hahaha!
Whitey: It’s a button fly.
Hobo: Goddamn. Second time today…
–Flushing & Portland, Navy Yard, Brooklyn
Conductor: The train is crowded. Please — arms, legs, bags, coats, hats, scarves — pull them in. I cannot close the doors.
Dude: You know it’s someone’s ass…
–1 train
Overheard by: wasn’t my ass
Ghetto queer, about passerby: Damn, girl, you see that skinny bitch’s shirt?
Friend: No…
Ghetto queer: It said, ‘I always get what I want.’ Yeah right, nigga. That’s some bullshit if I ever heard it. If you always got what you wanted, you wouldn’t be dressing in ghetto-ass t-shirts from the Dollar Store and walking around this neighborhood. You’d be dressin’ all Gucci and shit and livin’ on Park Avenue.
–147th & Broadway
Woman #1: Are those pants see-through?
Woman #2: No! That means I would be bare-chested.
–YMCA, 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chandra Smith-Thomas
Mom: I need a size ‘Small.’
Little girl, loudly: Mommy, aren’t you a Large?
–H&M, 51st & 5th
Overheard by: Pooja
Hipster: Why you wearin’ such a big hat?
Junkie wearing top hat: It’s not just a hat — it’s a port-a-potty.
–E Houston near Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Teen: There’s a world war in my pants, and everyone’s invited!
–Ft. Greene Pl
Overheard by: Liz
Mini thug to girls: Damn, bitches, slow down! You know a nigga can’t walk in these pants.
–Queens
Hot chick: I’m just so sick of putting on pants.
–E train, WTC
Overheard by: inothernews
Cougar: She pulled down his pants and there it was, like a machine gun! Just hangin’ there. Rat-a-tat-tat. It was that big.
–Blue & Gold, East Village
Overheard by: Evan
Man with hands down pants: I’m sorry… My penis is too long for these pants.
–62nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Caissie
Preppy girl #1: Are these boyfriend panties, or are these cheating-on-your-boyfriend panties?
Preppy girl #2: I think they’re a little slutty.
Preppy girl #1: So, for cheating?
Preppy girl #2: Yeah.
Preppy girl #1: Do you think this is all they have, or is there another drawer?
–Victoria’s Secret
Little girl: Guess what I’m wearing?
Mom’s friend: What?
Little girl: Underwear!
–Bagel Boys
Skinny chick: Was there scaffolding on his building?
Fat chick: Yeah, don’t you remember? I climbed it in my Catwoman costume on Halloween.
–Greenwich & 6th
Overheard by: tj
