Girlfriend: Check it out. It’s an ancient sea cow.
Boyfriend: Whoa. If it’s a cow, can you milk it?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Ms. Hazard
Girlfriend: Check it out. It’s an ancient sea cow.
Boyfriend: Whoa. If it’s a cow, can you milk it?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Ms. Hazard
Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Girl: So, are you still getting me pregnant this weekend?
Confused boyfriend: … What?
Girl: Oh. Did I not tell you about that?
–TKTS booth, Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Did You Not Get the Memo Stapled to the Condom?” – Ashez
· “He shoots, She whores!” – Qasar
· “I Want To Have Your Abortion” – travis
· “The Girl’s Guide to Getting Your Boyfriend to Listen: Part 1” – Heather S
· “Yeah, I’m Obligating.” – kerm
Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose.
Boyfriend: I need a new apartment.
Blonde, whiny: It’s always your needs! What about mine?!
Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money!
Server waiting to take order: I’ll come back when you two are ready…
–Olive Garden, Chelsea
Frat boyfriend: Wait, 525,600 what? What was that about?
Girlfriend: Minutes, baby. It’s, like, how many minutes we have in our lives.
Frat boyfriend: Oh. [Two blocks later] Wait, 525,600 what? Minutes?
Girlfriend: Yes. Minutes.
–Nederlander Theatre, 41st & 7th
Old queer #1: Don’t pull out your money here!
Old queer #2, putting wallet away: I’ll do what I want!
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Lady: Hey, I have to get going to that puh-taa meeting tonight.
Husband: That what meeting?!
Lady: Puh-taa. For the school…
Husband: … You mean the P.T.A. meeting?
Lady: You know that’s what I meant!
–W 5th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Patricia
Woman: Jeez.
Man: What?
Woman: Suddenly we’re in Italiantown. How did that happen?
–Mulberry & Grand, Little Italy
Overheard by: Cannoli Boy
Girl: Boys never use the stalls, do they?
Boyfriend: I do. I don’t want anyone to see my 10-inch penis.
Girl: 10 centimeters.
Boyfriend: Aren’t inches bigger than centimeters? I think so. 10 inches.
Girl: You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.
–Roseland Ballroom
Man, on a date with Woman, pointing at a statue of a man with a falcon: I used to do that when I was a kid. Falconry.
Woman: Ummm…
–Central Park
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
