Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: sweetpea
Tuxedo: Oh, you should have called us! We could have gotten you into Spago. We go there all the time! The guy there is, like, our best friend! Honey, what’s the name of that guy at Spago?
Trophy wife: We’ve never been to Spago. You went there with Jennifer.
–Greenwich & N Moore
Overheard by: annulla
Metrosexual: Do you think she’s a Volvic kind of girl or more of a Poland Spring or Crystal Geyser?
Girlfriend: Ummm, I see her as a Volvic… Maybe not.
Metrosexual: I think I’ll go with Poland Spring. I hope she likes it.
Girlfriend: I hope you’re right.
–Deli, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Maybe she likes the Hudson…
Yuppie: You know, that’s a very expensive beer you’re not drinking.
Girlfriend: Can’t we have one night where you don’t quote American Psycho?
Yuppie: Oh, he bought her Chardonnay. Don’t worry, I’m not a Chardonnay guy.
Girlfriend: Whatever. Just don’t nail-gun me in my sleep tonight. Again.
–Iggy’s on Rivington
Boyfriend: I wish I had a dog.
Girlfriend: I wish I were a dog.
–Union Square
Overheard by: arctinus
Girl: I want to fuck you when I’m drunk.
Guy: I just want to fuck you.
Girl: I just want you to be taller.
–Astoria Beer Garden
Girlfriend to boyfriend trying to stick trash down her pants: That’s not a garbage can!
–48th St, Sunnyside, Queens
Dude: You really don’t look much like your picture.
Girl: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude: I’m still deciding.
–W 3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: jor
Girl: Oh my god, it’s coming out of me!
Guy: What, your blood, or my cum?
–81st & Columbus
Boyfriend about loud passing motorcycle: You know, guys who clean their pipes like that have small genitalia.
Girlfriend: Well… I’m not so sure about that.
–18th & Park
Overheard by: Bob who likes to walk
