Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, – I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!
–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!
–Bayview Place, Staten Island
Overheard by: now I want a mental shower
Remote control car vendor #1, to hot chick passerby: Hey, baby, I got a pretty girl discount!
Remote control car vendor #2: Yeah, I’m giving out free babies. Free babies!
–181st & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh H
Man: You got the prettiest laugh I’ve ever heard!
Pretty girl: Aw…
Man: If you pee on me, I’ll let you laugh a lot more!
Pretty girl: Oh. I was going to say that was the sweetest catcall I’ve ever heard, but then…
–Mulberry & Spring
Overheard by: has that ever worked for you?
Man #1: So, shit, man, what was it like in prison?
Man #2: I learned how to make a girl out of three baloney sandwiches.
–L train
Overheard by: Sarah Lippek
Girl: Would you be interested in hearing about a fun place where children can learn?
Man: No, I’m not allowed because I’m a registered felon.
Girl: Well, have a nice day!
–outside SCORE! Educational Center, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Pfeff
20-something girl (following older man and sniffing him): Mmmmmmm.
Older man (letting her pass): Excuse me?
Girl: Sorry about that. You smell like my boyfriend. And he dumped me two days ago. (eyes well up)
Older man: Well, you're making me nervous. Keep on walking, honey.
–4 Train
Overheard by: alex
Pissing dude to couple walking: Hey! Hey! Don’t look! I am, in fact, urinating.
Friend: Yeah, sorry to ruin your night of flowers and romance, but at least you have a good story to tell your friends now.
–81st & Amsterdam
Junior high kid: Nice bike, fag!
Guy on moped: Nice prepubescent penis, kid!
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Matthew
Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!
–Broadway
Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.
–Broadway & Spring
20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.
–Q Train
Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!
–Neptune Ave
Overheard by: taylor
Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.
–Centre St
