Man: She’s my soul mate. I just wish she was 20 years older and not my daughter.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/sir_youre_under_arrest.html
Overheard by: that’s kinda creepy
Man: She’s my soul mate. I just wish she was 20 years older and not my daughter.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/sir_youre_under_arrest.html
Overheard by: that’s kinda creepy
Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y’know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it ‘the baby grinder.’
Bartender: That’s disgusting.
Girl: What’s really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.
Bar
Fitzroy
Australia
Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!
Burning Man
Nevada
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Guy, walking on the sidewalk under row of windows: So, on the subject of vaginas…
Portland, Oregon
Man #1: She’s lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn’t help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn’t fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor — fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone’s dick should be allowed to.
9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California
Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it’s just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, ‘genitalia’? Is that the right word? Well, you know — that smooth Southern thing.
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Angry chick: Why did God create men? They’re stupid!
Friend: ‘Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could’ve just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno…
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh… It’s better than the alternative! They’re sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.
Iowa
Overheard by: ewww
Chick: Are you sure you’re a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That’s not my photography hand.
Taber’s Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flying Pig
Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I’m having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I’m bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I’ll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I’ll be looking at me.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/310148350/can-you-just-see-his-point-n-wink.html
Overheard by: business casual
Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!
ER
Newport Beach, California
