Father carrying plastic pitchfork: Fuck that. Fuck that, bitch! Fuck that!
Mother in disheveled wildcat costume to crying son: It’s okay, baby. You’re not in trouble. Daddy and I are just arguing.
Father: Yeah, fuck you, Mommy. Yo, fuck that. Yo, Daddy is leavin’. Daddy is gone, boy.
Mother: It’s okay, baby.
Father to son: Shut the fuck up, faggot bitch! [Turns to mother] Don’t turn my son against me, bitch!
–24th St & 9th Ave
Father: Did you enjoy the movie, Angela?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: Was there lots of action?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: There are two things that make a good movie: action and sex.
–Montague & Clinton St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Laura
Giggling little girl placing hand in butt-crack of a statue: Daddy, look!
Father: Spank it!
–Times Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Adam Distler
Father: What is your favorite color?
Son, sitting in cart: Um…Pink!
Father: No! It’s black or maybe blue.
–Paint aisle, Home Depot, Staten Island
Son : We’re gonna get robbed and raped down here, we should have taken the bus.
Father: You only say stupid things.
Mother: Just hit him.
Son: Let’s get off at the next stop and take the bus.
Mother: Put your iPod away before those black guys try to rob you.
–Subway, near Battery Park
Overheard by: Mike Hunt
Old woman: Did you just come from school?
Little girl: No.
Dad: We just came from the zoo.
Old woman: Oh, the zoo! Did you like it? Did you hear about that crocodile hunter? I thought that was just awful. Playing with crocodiles and all, you don’t do that, do you?
Little girl: No.
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: katie caroline
Little boy: I didn’t bring my sword!
Father: Why not?
Little boy: It’s not big enough.
Father: Son, size doesn’t matter.
–Medieval Festival, Fort Tryon Park
Overheard by: Mikeyg
Little girl in sushi restaurant: Hey! Guess what? I just farted!
Mom and dad ignore her.
Little girl: I said I just farted! And I farted big! Ewwww! And it smells like rotten eggs! Wanna smell?
Little girl lets one rip.
Mother to father: So how was your day?
–Upper West Side
Headline by: Colin McCleod
Runners-Up:
· “Courtney Love: The Early Years” – Claire
· “Ew-nagi” – Mr. Fancipants
· “Gives new meaning to “silent but deadly”” – Will
· “I had to fart a lot to get my boss’s attention…” – alex
· “If We Ignore It, Maybe It Will Just Go Away” – Ian
· “Ignore-ance is Bliss” – Nick
· “Luckily, Rosie O’Donnell was able to refine her act” – prmsrng3
· “Pull My Finger” – Jose Hernandez
· “Practicing for the Teenage Years” – Brian
· “Reason number seven why sushi is a popular dining experience.” – Extra Character
· “Since “How My Day Was” is Self Explanatory…” – Veronica
· “Sounds a little like George W Bush and North Korea’s relationship” – Empty Refrigerator
· “To Air is Human. Earplugs, Divine” – Qasar
· “Unfortunatly, the father spent his day with the chronic masturbator son.” – ToraMaikeru
· “We thought you should know: You’re adopted.” – Jeff
· “What do you have to do to get some attention around here!…crap on the floor?” – pdz
· “Why Mommy and Daddy don’t have sex anymore” – Kristin
· “You’ve got to ac-cent-uate the positive… Flat-u-late the negative…” – Mike Chmiel
Rent merchandise peddler: Free Rent tote bag with a purchase of a Rent t-shirt!
Jewish father: How much is the Rent t-shirt?
Rent merchandise peddler: $25.
Jewish father: Hell no! 25 bucks for a t-shirt?!
Jewish teenage son: Dad! Stop being such a Jew!
–Nederlander Theatre
Little boy: How come every time you come around, my London, London Bridge…
Father: I told you, I don’t like that song. Stop singing it.
Little boy: …wanna go down, like London, London, London…
Father: If you don’t stop singing it, I’ll kill you.
Little boy: …wanna go down, like London, London, London…
Father: That’s it, I killed you. You’re dead. No one can see you now.
Little boy: I can’t be dead. I have to pee.
–Uptown 2 train
Overheard by: Ashwini
