Old Turk #1: Hello!
Old Turk #2: How are you?
Old Turk #1: Where have I seen you before?
Old Turk #2: I don’t know!
–Kennedy International Airport
Old Turk #1: Hello!
Old Turk #2: How are you?
Old Turk #1: Where have I seen you before?
Old Turk #2: I don’t know!
–Kennedy International Airport
Gaggle of drunk women to friend with tiara: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!
Wasted stranger dude: Happy biiirthday, dear whoever-the-fuck-you-are!
–C train
Overheard by: i sang along too
Drunk boyfriend: Come over here!
JAP girlfriend: Ask nicely!
Drunk boyfriend: Please, bitch, come over here!
–50th & 3rd
Overheard by: REGGIE FACE
Male business student: Hey! Why the long face?
Female business student on crutches: Oh, just everything lately.
Male business student: Oh. Well, see ya later!
–115th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: not a B-school student
Girl: Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say a fucking thing?
Guy: Um…
Girl: You’re such a dick! God, what a motherfucker.
–1 train
Cop #1: What, you can’t say, ‘Good morning’ anymore?
Cop #2: Haha.
Cop #1: I get more fuckin’ respect from the sperm in my balls than from you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Emily
Clerk: What about this one?
40-something woman looking at skin-tight, black leather mini dress: Hmmm… I like it, but do you have anything with a little less leather for church?
–Orchard St
Overheard by: what kind of church does she go to?
College chick #1: … And then three guys almost raped her.
College chick #2: Three?! Did they take turns?
College chick #1: Oh, they took turns.
College chick #2: Taking turns is for lame rapists.
–120th & Claremont
Overheard by: invisiblemooses
Tourist, after receiving directions: Thanks! Very good hotdogs!
Hotdog vender: Same to you!
–W 57th & 6th
Overheard by: Meredith W
Customer: What time does the live entertainment begin?
Waiter: Around 11 p.m.
Customer: Can you call and ask them to start early? It’s eight p.m., and I’m here now.
–Rafina Taverna, 78th & York
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
