Redhead: I wish I was a pirate.
Brunette: No, you don’t. Pirates are dirty. They don’t have toothbrushes.
Redhead: Yeah… But they drink so much alcohol that it kills the bacteria in their mouths anyway.
Brunette: Really? Well, they still don’t have health insurance…
–FIT dorm
Puking girl: At least I’m getting rid of calories.
Friend helping her: That’s right.
Puking girl: And I don’t like calories.
–Pier 60, Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: gleebster
Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Chick #1: Hey, did you hear? Paris Hilton’s going back to jail.
Chick #2: Really? That’s hilarious.
Chick #1: That’s horrible! She’s a decent human being who just needs some rehabilitation!
Chick #2: What the fuck is wrong with you, you dipshit?
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Kristen
20-ish chick #1: We should have brought a black light to see what her teeth would have done.
20-ish chick #2: You always know how to make me feel better about bitches like that.
–Times Square
NYU girl #1, during fire alarm: Whoa, look! There’s an elevator. Maybe it’s going to dump water on the building to put out the fire.
NYU girl #2: Wait… What?
NYU girl #1: Did I say elevator? I meant helicopter. Whatever.
–Washington Square Park
Chick #1: You know how people will, like, tell their parents a bunch of really horrible lies to make whatever they need to tell them seem not as bad?
Chick #2: Yeah…
Chick #1: I think that’s what I’m gonna do.
Chick #2: What’s worse than getting pregnant, dropping out of school, and moving to Jersey?
–3 train
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Teen girl: Did you know it’s not Brooklyn-Queens Day anymore? Now all of the city gets off from school.
Little brother: It’s because the other boroughs got jealous.
–Alley Pond Park, Queens
Overheard by: Rebecca
