Blonde: Freaking-A, my prostate hurts! Does your prostate ever hurt?
Brunette: Um, girls don’t have prostates.
Blonde: Um, yeah we do, idiot.
Brunette: No, girls do not have prostates. Only guys do.
Blonde: You’re stupid — girls and guys have prostates. What do you think makes you poop?
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: girls have prostates? hm wierd.
Girl #1: I was just so confused about the incest thing. I don’t understand why he was making such a big deal about it.
Girl #2: Haha, yeah. Weird. Hey, doesn’t this brownie look like salami?!
–Lerner Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Paul
20-something girl #1: Oooh, I think I see the bus!
20-something girl #2: Yes!
20-something girl #1: Don’t get too excited. I’m not sure I see it yet.
20-something girl #2: I won’t. I mean, it’s just a bus. It’s not like it’s Santa.
–6th & 8th, Park Slope
Jersey girl #1: Oh my god, hot nuts! I have to have them! Almonds, please.
Jersey girl #2: Oh my god, Andrea! We’re supposed to have dinner in, like, three hours!
Jersey girl #1: You don’t understand, Lisa. I need hot nuts now.
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: OMG! me Too!
Drunk girl: I ate two sausages tonight. Two!
Drunk friend: Oh my god!
Drunk girl: I don’t even eat sausages.
Drunk friend: Wow!
Drunk girl: They were the best sausages I ever had.
–29th & 9th
Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Workout girl #1: It feels so sticky when I put it on my lips.
Workout girl #2: That’s why you don’t stick your fingers all the way inside it.
–Synergy Gym, Astoria
Overheard by: Wog
Headline by: Rocks N Socks
Runners-Up:
· “How to Eat a Bowl Of Ice Cream Without a Spoon” – Karl
· “Life Without a Toilet Plunger…” – Jackster
· “Oh Cum On!” – Mike
· “The Rim Is All You Need…” – Steph
· “Winnie The Pooh Had The Same Problem With His Honeypot” – Sticky Thump
Man: I’m trying to work out to drop some weight.
Lady: Yeah, my girlfriend and I been goin’ to the gym to make our booties clap.
Man: Aw, yeah?
Lady: You know, makin’ em clap, gettin’ ’em right.
Man: Yeah, like, I seen this girl on TV — I think her name is Tastee…
Lady: That girl from Flavor of Love?
Man: No, not Toastee — like, a real girl, named Tastee. Her booty makes a sound like [claps his hands loudly three times]. It, like, smacks itself.
Lady: Damn.
–Rite Aid, Grand & Clinton
Overheard by: Beth P.
Sweaty girl #1: Sometimes I do the poses just a little bit wrong so the instructors will correct me.
Sweaty girl #2: Oh, I know! I’m not a lesbian, but I would let today’s instructor touch me all over!
–Yoga to the People, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Cooper C
Girl wearing cargo capris: Do I look like a lesbian in these pants?
Stranger girl: Yeah, why?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Hal
