Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Brooklyn guy #1: Let me tell you something…
Brooklyn guy #2: No, don’t even bother.
–B100 bus, Marine Park
Overheard by: vaughn
Brooklyn guy: Cute kid you got there. How old is he?
Short-haired mom: She is 20 months.
Brooklyn guy: Oh, ‘she.’ Sorry, I didn’t realize…
Short-haired mom: That’s because gender is performance.
Brooklyn guy: [Sips coffee.]
–Vox Pop, Cortelyou Rd
Overheard by: the nearby barista
Guy: You know what? Fuck you! F-C-U… Goddammit.
Girl: That’s right, dumbass!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: laughing my ass off
Preppy girl with Starbucks cup: That was some shitty-ass coffee.
Preppy guy: Speaking of shitty, Cap’n Nemo’s got nothin’ on me. I shat a white whale in there. It was two feet long and, I’m tellin’ you, it was white! Like, white and one solid length! Took it first try, though. They have good toilets.
–PATH, Christopher St station
Overheard by: Zenana
Dude #1: So, she lied to her parents about what third world country she went to?
Dude #2: Yeah, I guess so.
Dude #1: Wait, where did she really go?
Dude #2: I don’t know — Thailand, Vietnam or Kenya… Somewhere with poor people.
Dude #1: Damn.
–A train
Guy: No, I don’t wanna see that bitch again.
Girl: Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s like… You have your arm around me, and you’re wearing a bra.
–E 93rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Kerri
Dude #1: Do you think retards know they’re retarded?
Dude #2: Yeah. I’m sure they’re all like, ‘This sucks. I’m retarded.’
–East Village
Woman to friend: It just wasn’t what they imagined when they dreamed of going to jail.
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: MK
LA bimbette to another: I think, like, everyone I know has been arrested. I mean, like, who hasn’t been charged with a drunk and disorderly at least once?
–R train
Chick to friend: Yeah, he got a lot of gold chains, but that’s an investment… That’s bail.
–Bus, Port Authority
Guy leaving subway: Hey, baby, I’m home! One more day and I’m not in jail!
–Subway entrance, 125th St
Overheard by: Leaving Harlem
Teen thug: Man, I never had to spend Valentine’s Day with my mom… If her boyfriend wasn’t in jail she wouldn’t be bothering me.
–Eastern Pkwy Library
Chick to boyfriend: So, that’s what you learned in prison?
–Central Park
Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.
–Subway station, Times Square
Overheard by: Mama
Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.
–181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.
–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza
Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Laura
