Chick: Does anyone have a coin?
Dude: Yeah, I do. It’s in my pants. Wait, where are my pants?!
–Chelsea
Chick: Does anyone have a coin?
Dude: Yeah, I do. It’s in my pants. Wait, where are my pants?!
–Chelsea
Guy #1: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they’ll never know.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Keegan
Guy #1: He hates women.
Guy #2: So he’s a misogynist?
Guy #1: No, he’s a choreographer.
–57th & Broadway
Guy #1: So she told me that she wants to make out more.
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: She wants to sit and make out but not have sex.
Guy #2: Why bother making out if it isn’t going to end in sex?
Guy #1: That’s what I said.
–15th & Colfax
Overheard by: sean b
Guy #1: Yeah, she got a fat ass.
Guy #2: Really? No, I don’t think she got a fat ass.
Guy #1: Okay, she got a medium-sized ass.
Guy #2: Okay. Medium.
Guy #3: Yeah, medium.
Guy #2: Okay, who else got a nice ass?
–B44 bus, Nostrand & Fulton
Overheard by: naseem
Guy #1: Yeah, so I was like, dead for two minutes.
Guy #2: Fuck yeah, dude! You fuckin’ died! [High five] What was it like?
Guy #1: I dunno, dude, I was dead!
–Brooklyn Industries, Williamsburg
Dude #1: Whoa, this year is double-oh-seven.
Dude #2: That’s so freaking cool.
Chick: I don’t get it. How is that cooler than last year being double-oh-six?
Dude #1: Because Alec Trevelyan was a dick.
Dude #2: … Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
–Carlyle Court, 25 Union Square West
Girl: Ellen DeGeneres is pretty funny.
Boy: And by funny you mean what?
Girl: … A lesbian.
–10th & 5th
Guy, about man on Bluetooth ear piece: Man, look at that guy. He’s nuts.
Girl: Oh, geez. He’s just on the phone.
Guy, to Bluetooth man: Are you crazy? She doesn’t think so.
–Near City Hall
Overheard by: Matt
Chick: She has low self-esteem.
Dude: She should. She’s mad ugly.
Chick: I’ve known people who are ugly but really beautiful.
Dude: No.
Chick: No, really! I’ve seen ugly men with beautiful women and ugly women with handsome men.
Dude: I’m dumb-shallow. If you don’t look good, you can’t be my friend.
Chick: But you’re judging people. Like God.
Dude: Fuck that. I pay my own rent. I don’t need anybody. I’m straight, but all my guy friends look good. If you’re ugly, you can’t be my friend. I’m dumb-shallow. [A few minutes later] Yo, if someone says I don’t look good, somethin’s wrong with them or their eyes, ’cause I look good.
–4 train, rush hour
Overheard by: Veej
