Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Hoochie #1: … Because what could happen is you end up in Chicago and he ends up naked.
Hoochie #2: And that would be so weird.
Hoochie #1: Yeah, that would be so awkward.
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: …i’ll say it would be awkward!
Chick: My worst nightmare would be if I passed out drunk in the park and woke up to somebody fingering me.
Hoochie friend: Actually, that doesn’t seem that bad… How about if the guy is hot?
Girl: Well, I guess it’s not really that bad after all…
–A train platform, 14th St
Overheard by: On Platform
Counter girl #1 : That’s that shit you gotta get — a douche.
Counter girl #2 : Nah, I don’t fuck around with that shit.
Counter girl #1 : No, but that’s what gets you tight again!
Counter girl #2 : Oh, then I definitely need to get me some of that!
–Duane Reade, 88th & Broadway
Overheard by: Evan
Drunk girl: The other thing you should know about me is I have a raw fucking pussy.
Drunk guy, holding her hand: Yeah? Good.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Bex
Girl #1: Here, take it.
Girl #2: I really don’t think this is necessary…
Girl #1: But you missed your period. And you’re all pukey. Don’t you want to know?
Girl #2: But I don’t think I am.
Girl #1: Well, I can’t date him until we know he’s not your baby daddy!
Girl #2: Start dating him! It’s fine. I don’t think I am!
Girl #1: Will you just pee on the fucking stick?!
–Bathroom, bar, Williamsburg
Guy: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?
Stripper dancing on bar: Dolls?
Guy: Yeah! You still work there?
Stripper dancing on bar: Nah. Too ghetto.
–Pussycat Lounge
Hoochie #1: Let’s do tequila shots!
Hoochie #2: No way. The last two times I did tequila shots I did anal.
–Freeman’s
Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo
Headline by: Evan Allgood
Runners-Up:
· “Correlation does not imply causation” – Devon Brady
· “Mexicans always come through the back door.” – Sean
· “Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady” – briguy
· “One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Whore!” – Queen Pia
· “Tell me about it” – Janet E.
Hot chick #1 during Tom Brady close-up: Ohhh, I just want to give him a hug!
Hot chick #2: I want to make out with him.
Hot chick #3: I want to put his penis in my mouth.
–Watching Patriots/Colts game, Sutton Pl, 53rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Lee
