Manhattan

You Know, After Babe-a-Ganouj Goes Under

Dude: I’d like to invite you to take part in my new venture. I call it Kebabes.
Chick: What is it?
Dude: It’s like a kebab joint but with sexy ladies.

–In line at Quo, 28th & 10th

Overheard by: Anisha & Meg
Headline by: Laura C

Runners-Up:
· But She’s Already Working at Falafellatio – Momolo
· Not for Humusexuals – ndsd1

Honorable Mentions:
· Well, It’s Better Than Kebabies – Matthew H
· Insert Skewer Joke Here….. – Tim White
· That’s Just Falawful – Chris Cunnyngham
· Turkish Delight! – Hobo Whisperer
· They’ve Got Great Hummus, Too – Anonymous
· Meat Marketing? – Xana
· I Knew I Looked Succulent Today… – Sarah

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

It’s Called Jaws Unlocked

Older black gentleman in suit: Hey man, can you help me out?
Arab guy in limo smiles and says nothing.
Black man: I’m, uh, I’m lookin’ for someone to go home with tonight. ‘Cause I’m a gay guy, see. Well, I mean, I’m kind of a swing guy. I like to, uh… ascend to different levels.
Hipster guy walking past: What is it, like, a video game?
Black guy: Yeah! Yeah, baby, it’s a video game. ‘Cept when I win… I fuck you.

–44th & 6th

Overheard by: Peebs

He Gave Her Directions off the Queensborough Bridge

Tourist lady: Ahem … excuse me sir … em .. Could you tell us how to get to Central Park from here?
Dude: Sure, just take a left on 72nd and walk straight on.
Tourist lady to husband: See, I told you New Yorkers aren’t rude if you talk to them nice.
Dude: I’m from Idaho, ma’am, I’m just here for Memorial weekend.

–Park Ave

Overheard by: Jason

She Either Wants a Gangsta or a Chicken Sandwich

Grandma to crying 5-year-old: Get a job if you want it that badly! Get a damn job! If you were in Russia, you’d be working. If you were in China, you’d be out working in the rice paddies. Goddamn. I’m gonna put you in a sweatshop. This is Grandma’s weekend to find a man. Gonna go up to the Bronx. Gonna hit the BX and find a BK.

–Tompkins Square Park

That’s Why Kofi Annan Ordered that Rug

Girl #1 It’s beautiful, where was it made?
Girl #2: [checks label on sweater] Made in Indonesia.
Girl #1: Oh, well with all of the bad shit going on down there, you wanna buy as much as you can while you still can.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Let’s Get Some Ice Cream and Give Him a Call

Girl: Oh my god. Don’t even mention his name to me. I hate him so much.
Guy: You mean hate him like you’d wanna set him on fire hate him?
Girl: I mean hate him like I wouldn’t even shit on him if someone else set him on fire.
Guy: Uh… I believe the phrase is “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire”.
Girl: Yeah, whatever. It’s all the same when you’re lactose-intolerant.

–Greenwich Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: happy milk drinker

All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Puppets

Tall Asian teen: That was really funny.
Shorter white teen: Yeah, I’m sorry I keep calling you a fucking Asian.

–Coming out of Avenue Q, 45th & Broadway

They Must’ve Rehearsed That for Weeks

Drunk guy: Hey there! Have we met before? I’m sure we have.
Sober girl: No, we haven’t.
Drunk guy: Yeah we have! Where do I know you from?
Sober girl: No where. We’ve never met.
Drunk guy: YES, we have! I know we have!
Sober girl: Yeah, now that you mention it. We have met.
Drunk guy: See! I told you. Where did we meet again?
Sober girl: Your dreams, drunkie.

–Sutton Place, 53rd & 2nd

Good Thing His Friends Had His Back

Guy #1: Dude, he was so drunk, he was twisted. He’d had like, I don’t know, 25 shots.
Guy #2: 25 shots? Of what??
Guy #1: Of vodka I guess. He was sitting in his BMW holding the wheel and falling asleep.
Guy #2: He was driving??
Guy #1: Naw… Fucker was too drunk to realize he forgot to turn the car on.

–Moeshe’s Falafal, 46th & 6th

Overheard by: Waiting for Falafal

She’s Really Got a Handle on That Death Thing

Girl #1: The worst thing about when your favorite author dies is, you’re never going to get any new books from them.
Girl #2: Yeah!

–Strand, 12th & Broadway

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist