Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.
–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint
Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.
–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint
A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.
Mom: Come on, sweetie, it’s time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I’m petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I’m petting the kitty!
–17th & 6th
Mother, scolding: And this is the same little boy who took out his penis in a nice restaurant.
Little boy: It was a wonderful restaurant!
–Garfield Pl, Park Slope
Overheard by: ruckerbry
Little boy pointing to subway ad: Mommy, what are those?
Mother: Those are grown-ups.
Little boy: Kids.
Mother: No, those are just happy grown-ups, so they look like kids.
–1 train
Mom: John, you’re killing me!
Son hugging her tightly: Wear your armor next time.
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: Sumo
Ignorant mom: Why do you have all that hair on your head? Are you a Jew?
Poor kid: Yes!
Ignorant mom: You’re not a Jew! You do not practice Jew-ism.
–A train
Overheard by: A Devout Jesus-ist
Yuppie mom: What did you do today, honey?
Three-year-old daughter: I don’t feel like talking, Mommy!
–10th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Mother: Honey, what is wrong with your eyes?
Teen daughter: I am stoned.
Mother: You look like you have allergies.
Teen daughter: I am stoned.
Mother: Maybe it’s pink eye.
–Central Park
Mom: That’s the moon!
Little boy: That’s not called the moon! That’s called an impending alien invasion!
–Columbia University
Mom: … But it was hopeless. But I was stuck there, like a little Dutch boy with my finger in a dike for two hours.
Daughter: Huh? Like, a girl?
–Basement of the MoMA
