That’s Not Their Son – Dad Hired Him For PR

Woman on cell: Ooh, so you’re wearing your birthday suit?
Little girl, screaming: What?! Daddy is wearing his birthday suit?! It’s not his birthday!
Woman: Honey! You can’t say that this loudly on the train!
Little girl, five minutes later: So I still don’t understand what a birthday suit is.
Little boy: I told you already! It’s a suit that dad got on his birthday, and he found it in the car today, so he decided to put it on.
Woman: Yep, he’s right.

–Metro-North train, Grand Central

Overheard by: Beth

Posted on August 5, 2006
Kids, Lies, Moms, Nudity, On Cell, Parents, Trains Not Subway, Women

Kids Can Be So Impatient While Their Drugs Are Kicking in…

Little boy: I wanna get high!
Mom: Shhh!

–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn

Posted on August 4, 2006
Boys, Brooklyn, Kids, Moms, Parents, Words

And Don’t Come Here If You Need a Heart or a Brain

8-year-old tourist-in-training, looking at transsexual: Do people in New York all look like that?
Mother: No, not all, but most of them don’t look like they did in Kansas.

–LaGuardia Airport

Posted on August 4, 2006
Foreigners, Gender issues, Kids, LaGuardia Airport, Moms, Tourism

Pamela Anderson Recovers Repressed Memories

Entendre Queen, to 4-year-old daughter: Now you’ll have alone playtime for 40 minutes. Then Mommy will play with herself after that for another 40 minutes. Then Daddy will join Mommy for some playtime. You can either watch Mommy and Daddy play or go play on your own again.

–207th & Broadway

Overheard by: Elizabeth R.

Posted on August 3, 2006
Innuendo, Kids, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Time, Washington Heights and Inwood

The Karma Police and the Poetic Justice Department Are Really Gonna Have It Out Over This Case

Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Cappy

Posted on August 1, 2006
Crime and Punishment, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Moms, Parks

In Some Countries, Losing Your Virginity Doggy-Style in a Bathroom Stall Is Considered a Rite of Passage

Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: DaFunk

Posted on July 31, 2006
Moms, Parents, Promiscuity, Teens, Union Square and East Village

Yuppie Child Enters Lifelong Apprenticeship

Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.

–M86 bus

Overheard by: Caitlin

Posted on July 30, 2006
Books & Writing, Ethnic Food, Kids, Moms, On the Bus

Mom Gets Her Inner Ho-Bag Out of the Garage

Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!

–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave