Little boy: I wanna get high!
Mom: Shhh!
–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
8-year-old tourist-in-training, looking at transsexual: Do people in New York all look like that?
Mother: No, not all, but most of them don’t look like they did in Kansas.
–LaGuardia Airport
Entendre Queen, to 4-year-old daughter: Now you’ll have alone playtime for 40 minutes. Then Mommy will play with herself after that for another 40 minutes. Then Daddy will join Mommy for some playtime. You can either watch Mommy and Daddy play or go play on your own again.
–207th & Broadway
Overheard by: Elizabeth R.
Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cappy
Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: DaFunk
Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Caitlin
Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!
–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave
Mother: Don’t you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Miranda
Little kid: But what if we don’t have enough money?
Mother: And that’s the reason why you need to keep your four-year-old concerns to your damn self.
–Dekalb & South Portland, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Zoe
Little girl: Mommy, can you go to the hospital and get me a baby sister?
Mother: Go ask daddy.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hbs
