Moms

Little girl, pointing to an ad depicting peanut butter and banana on
bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at the ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food…You wouldn’t like it.

–Downtown B train

Headline by: Maniac Moll

Runners-Up:
· “愚かなアメリカ人” – Oog Oog
· “1 Billion Americans Couldn’t be Wrong” – Moze
· “50,000 Elvis Fans Discover They Like Raw Fish” – ED
· “And Why Don’t We Like Chinese Food? That’s Right, ‘Cause They Bombed Pearl Harbour” – Brendan
· “Choosey Moms Choose Eel and Avocodo” – PJ
· “Don’t Tell Me What I Like, You Chink Bitch” – Bevan
· “If You Eat the Wrong Part, You Become a Gorilla” – devin the artist
· “It’s Only Chinese if the Banana Is Small” – Oren K
· “Mommy, it Looks so Much Like Daddy’s Cock Coming Out of Your Asshole.” – Extra Character
· “New Study Finds Confusion Prevents Childhood Obesity” – Booters
· “Technically, Honey, It’s Sashimi” – ED

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Mother, to young son: It’s not a nice thing to say. It’s like saying a curse word.
Stranger on bench: Fuck you!

–Union Sq Park

Overheard by: the other stranger on the bench

Woman on cell: Ooh, so you’re wearing your birthday suit?
Little girl, screaming: What?! Daddy is wearing his birthday suit?! It’s not his birthday!
Woman: Honey! You can’t say that this loudly on the train!
Little girl, five minutes later: So I still don’t understand what a birthday suit is.
Little boy: I told you already! It’s a suit that dad got on his birthday, and he found it in the car today, so he decided to put it on.
Woman: Yep, he’s right.

–Metro-North train, Grand Central

Overheard by: Beth

Little boy: I wanna get high!
Mom: Shhh!

–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn

8-year-old tourist-in-training, looking at transsexual: Do people in New York all look like that?
Mother: No, not all, but most of them don’t look like they did in Kansas.

–LaGuardia Airport

Entendre Queen, to 4-year-old daughter: Now you’ll have alone playtime for 40 minutes. Then Mommy will play with herself after that for another 40 minutes. Then Daddy will join Mommy for some playtime. You can either watch Mommy and Daddy play or go play on your own again.

–207th & Broadway

Overheard by: Elizabeth R.

Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Cappy

Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: DaFunk

Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.

–M86 bus

Overheard by: Caitlin

Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!

–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave