Old lady to 20-somethings on stoop: I’m singing in the rain. I’m singing in the rain. With Jesus Christ as my friend, I’m happy again [walks away].
20-something guy: If I wrote a scene like that into a script, everyone would think I was trying too hard.
–Webster Hall
Old Turk #1: Hello!
Old Turk #2: How are you?
Old Turk #1: Where have I seen you before?
Old Turk #2: I don’t know!
–Kennedy International Airport
Old black lady: She’s got to get her pregnant self right out of there. The two of them is cloak and dagger.
Old white friend: Yes.
Old black lady: They is just cloak and dagger.
–Doctor’s office, W 59th St
Overheard by: Susan V
Old lady #1: Why are you dating a 30-year-old guy?
Old lady #2: … Well, he just got a haircut.
–Union Square East, 15th St
Overheard by: Steve Scalici
Old lady hoochie with buck teeth, on cell: I have no fucking idea what I did between August and yesterday…
–183rd & Ft. Washington Ave
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Old man: Sex has changed since I last had it.
–14th & 7th
Irritated old fart: If we end up on Eighth Avenue, it’ll be a tragedy!
–C train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Emily B.
Old man: What do they smoke up here?
–116th & Broadway
Old lady: I’m just so mad at you–!
Crazy old man, interrupting: –You ain’t mad, you upset! Only animals get mad. You a human! A human!
–Flushing & Broadway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: glad i’m outta there
Waiter: Would you care for a glass of wine or a cocktail?
Old lady: No, thanks, we’re heavy drug users.
–Caffe Grazie, 84th & Madison
Overheard by: mom thought that was funny
Thug: [Hacking cough.]Old woman: You choking again? You keep it up and I’m gonna have to do the hymen maneuver on you!
Thug: Awww, hell no!
–Bx4 bus
Overheard by: some chick
Old lady in wheelchair: Where are we going?!
Middle-aged son: Don’t worry, we’re getting there.
Old lady in wheelchair: All I can see is asses!
–Subway station, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: meeples
Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.
–7 train
Overheard by: Tom
