Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!
–4 train, Union Square
Overheard by: newyork2boston
Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!
–4 train, Union Square
Overheard by: newyork2boston
Father: Is he asleep over there?
Mother: Yeah, he’s dozing. [Looks at other son.] Are you asleep, too?
Son #2: I’m bored.
Mother: He’s always bored. I must’ve been bored when I made him. [Stands up and leans on father’s knee and starts humping.] I’m bored, I’m bored[yawns], I’m bored.
Father: That guy is looking at you.
Mother: So? He doesn’t look boring like you.
–Queens-bound F train
Overheard by: That guy on the F Train
Headline by: Jason
Runners-Up:
· “Charles and Diana Ride the Subway?” – Shawn
· “Most Priests Aren’t That Exciting” – Brock
· “They Don’t Call It the F Train for Nothing” – Sean McGurr
· “This Is the Express Train: From Boring to Whoring” – Sim Etrias
· “Try the Middle Leg….it’s Less Boring” – nicky c.
Girl: I always get suspicious when I see hot, thin moms with fat little daughters, because you know they’re making them fat so that they don’t turn out hotter than them.
Guy: What?
Girl: I’m serious, I’ve seen it happen! You know that’s what Christine’s mom did to her.
–E train
Overheard by: Dness
Woman with headphones: ‘Scuuuse me!
Bimbette: What?! I said, ‘Excuse me.’
Woman with headphones: Well, I have on headphones and shades, so obviously I didn’t see or hear you. Ever thought about tapping me on the shoulder, asshole?
Bimbette, opening book called, How to Become Fearless: Well, whatever. I’m already sitting down.
Woman with headphones: That book must being doing something good for your ego. Hope it has a chapter in there on what to do after you get smacked on the train for being fearless…
–A train
Man: Come on, baby, come back to my place!
Woman: Nah, the last time I went over to your place you stabbed me!
Man: Baby, that was four years ago!
–F train, Roosevelt Island
Overheard by: Milo
Chick: You just don’t get me sometimes!
Guy: Like how?
Chick: I don’t like it when you call me a fat pig!
–1 train
Overheard by: Csmith
Ghetto nerd chick #1, to girl talking about Harry Potter on cell: Aw, hell, no she didn’t! I have not been reading that shit since I was 13 to have the final ending fucked up by some crackwhore-looking bitch on her stupid pink faggot phone! Oh, fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! I’m going to kill you, feed you to wolves, then nuclear bomb the entire planet!
Ghetto nerd chick #2, into cell: I know, yeah… What? Oh, just some crazy bitch. Yeah, and can you believe that they killed off–
Ghetto nerd chick #1, covering her ears and singing: –Stuck on a train with a big fat whore. Stuck on a train. La-lala-lala…
–S train
Conductor #1: There is a train ahead of us at the station. We’ll be moving shortly.
Conductor #2: The D just crossed in front of us. Now there’s an A and a D. I’m tired, too. I was out ’til four AM last night. I’m gonna take a nap!
–A train
Overheard by: is this man ok to drive?
Gaggle of drunk women to friend with tiara: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!
Wasted stranger dude: Happy biiirthday, dear whoever-the-fuck-you-are!
–C train
Overheard by: i sang along too
Lesbo: I’m just sick of everyone stereotyping and treating people based on race, sexual orientation, or whatever.
Staight woman: Yeah, it’s hard to avoid.
Lesbo: I know! And it’s like 2007! Everyone’s gay or lesbian. The stereotyping is everywhere — school, the gym, work.
Straight woman: Oh, where do you work?
Lesbo: Home Depot.
–4 train
Overheard by: Stephen Fargo
