Queer #1: He’s been with his boyfriend for seven weeks and they’re moving in together.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah, and they’re even going to gay week at Disneyworld! I’m so jealous.
Queer #2: What’s gay week?
Queer #1: It’s this week where gays from all over the world go to Disneyworld to go on roller coasters and fuck.
–N train
Overheard by: G-dogg
Queer #1: You know the guy I mean? The one with the hairy boyfriend and those two big stupid dogs?
Queer #2: Honey, that could be anyone we know.
–23rd & 7th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Black queer on stretcher: Careful with me, darlings, I has a light bulb up my ass!
Bystander in ER: I hope it’s one of those energy-saving, compact, fluorescent light bulbs.
–Beekman Downtown Hospital
Overheard by: Big Larry
Fat, old, queer biker: Can you make a gin fizz?
Bartender: What is this, prom night?
–Cafe Loup, 13th & 6th
Overheard by: JoeQ
Friend reading magazine: Look! That guy has a double chin!
Queer: Yeah, that’s because he’s a fucking asshole that eats souls.
–1 train
Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.
–Mott & Houston
Old queen #1: I always thought that Dick Cavett was such a little asshole.
Old queen #2: I always found him to be downright delightful!
–Edison Diner, 47th St
Overheard by: I like Dick
Hobo, about queer: Look here, everyone! We got a whoopie here! There goes a whoopie!
Queer: I’m a fag. What the fuck is a whoopie?
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Queer #1: In seventh grade I was the unicorn in the school play.
Queer #2: Oh my god! You were the unicorn? What play? I was the unicorn! Oh my god!
Queer #3: No fucking way! I was the motherfucking unicorn, too! This is fucking crazy!
Queer #1: I know! I can’t believe we were all fucking unicorns!
–Hollywood Diner, 16th & 6th
