Drunk guy #1: Man, I gotta get laid tonight.
Drunk guy #2: I’m sure there’s a costume shop around here somewhere. You’d totally increase your chances if you wore a sailor outfit.
Drunk guy #1: Yeah… but I like pussy.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Peebs
Woman: She locked me in a dog crate and poured hot wax on me.
Random passerby: What kind of sex is she having?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Casstom
Drunk girl: I want to call my boyfriend so I can have sex.
Random drunk guy: Well, save yourself a call and have sex with me.
Drunk girl: That makes sense…….ok!
–10th St & 3rd Ave
Girl #1: But I wasn’t laughing at him, I was laughing at his little white penis in a black condom.
Girl #2: Yeah. Chris’s penis is crooked, and I told him he could never wear one of those yellow banana-flavored condoms, because I might forget I was blowing him and think I was eating a banana.
Girl #1: You’re an idiot.
–2nd Ave & 10th Street
Overheard by: Alia Lesoix
Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Guy #1: So this girl comes over and I just want her to give me a blow job.
Guy #2: Yeah, did she do it?
Guy #1: No. She was all like, “I really want to hook up with you, but you won’t respect me if I do.” And I’m just thinking, “Please for the love of God, just suck my dick and I’ll worry about the rest later.” but I obviously can’t say that to her.
Guy #3: Dude, that sucks. It sounds like she’s a total tease.
Guy #1: Yeah. I know man. I really, really just wanted her to suck my dick and she’s worried about all this other stuff.
. . .
Guy #3, as they’re exiting the train: Do you believe we go to law school?
–1 train
Overheard by: Alison R.
Guy: So, anyway, the short of it is, he is the only guy I ever slept with who didn’t end up giving me money. He was amazing.
Girl: Hmm-mm. I see.
–Houston & Mercer
Overheard by: Angela
Guy #1: I wouldn’t have sex with her. I love my penis too much.
Guy #2: You said that kinda loud.
Guy #1: Don’t worry, there’s no Overheard in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Girl #1: So when was your first kiss?
Girl #2: My 17th birthday.
Girl #1: How about your first time making out?
Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday.
Girl #1: …first blowjob?
Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again.
Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity?
Girl #2: 17th.
Girl #1: How about the first time you —
Girl #2: I know what you’re about to ask, and the answer is “my 17th birthday” again.
Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday?
–R train
