Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Guy #1: So this girl comes over and I just want her to give me a blow job.
Guy #2: Yeah, did she do it?
Guy #1: No. She was all like, “I really want to hook up with you, but you won’t respect me if I do.” And I’m just thinking, “Please for the love of God, just suck my dick and I’ll worry about the rest later.” but I obviously can’t say that to her.
Guy #3: Dude, that sucks. It sounds like she’s a total tease.
Guy #1: Yeah. I know man. I really, really just wanted her to suck my dick and she’s worried about all this other stuff.
. . .
Guy #3, as they’re exiting the train: Do you believe we go to law school?
–1 train
Overheard by: Alison R.
Guy: So, anyway, the short of it is, he is the only guy I ever slept with who didn’t end up giving me money. He was amazing.
Girl: Hmm-mm. I see.
–Houston & Mercer
Overheard by: Angela
Guy #1: I wouldn’t have sex with her. I love my penis too much.
Guy #2: You said that kinda loud.
Guy #1: Don’t worry, there’s no Overheard in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Girl #1: So when was your first kiss?
Girl #2: My 17th birthday.
Girl #1: How about your first time making out?
Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday.
Girl #1: …first blowjob?
Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again.
Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity?
Girl #2: 17th.
Girl #1: How about the first time you —
Girl #2: I know what you’re about to ask, and the answer is “my 17th birthday” again.
Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday?
–R train
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Chick: I’m going to get some popcorn. Do you want anything to eat?
Queer: Nah, no thanks.
Chick: So just my vajayjay then?
Queer: Yep, thanks.
–Lincoln Square Theater, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jas
Girl on cell: It kinda stops being sexy when you can’t breath.
Little old lady: Oy Gevalt!
–Smith & 9th Street station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Braincurve
Guy #1: Alright, we gonna have a good time today.
Guy #2: Eww, you use condoms — when I do it, I do it for real!
Guy #1’s girlfriend: And get the girl pregnant?
Guy #2: Something called birth control!
Girlfriend: That doesn’t mean you won’t get STDs.
Guy #2: Well, I make sure she doesn’t have STDs!
Girlfriend: But all whores have STDs, and those are the only pussy you can ever get!
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: Vincent Ku
