Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Little boy: Dad, why did his legs pop up like that?
Dad: Rigor mortis, son. Rigor mortis.
–New York State Theater, Lincoln Center
Little boy: What’s the “n word,” Dad?
Dad: I’m not gonna tell you.
Little boy: Why?
Mom: It’s worse than all the other words because it makes specific people feel bad.
Dad: You don’t need to know it. It’s one of those things you’ll learn when you get older. You’ll learn a lot of bad things when you get older.
–Barnes and Noble, Astor Place
Overheard by: Ben
You’ll learn all this and more, at 7PM on Wednesday night at the store above. Please come join us as we discuss and sign our new book.
Dad: Don’t wipe your hands on me! What’s wrong with you? Megan’s father only got 25 years after she went missing! And it’s not like I’m in a rush to get home to your mother!
Little boy: What?
Dad: …That was a messed-up thing to say, wasn’t it?!
–L train
Dad: You see that? Isn’t that beautiful?
Little boy: No. It’s stupid.
Dad: Huh? Come here, sit down. Don’t ever say something like that, okay? You know what happens when you say that’s stupid?
He slaps him lightly on the wrists.
Dad: You don’t want that, do you? Go look at it again and tell me what you see…Well, what do you see?…Is it beautiful?
Little boy: Yeah.
Dad: Okay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: David D.
Little boy #1: Can I have that dinosaur?
Little boy #2: Only if you guess what number I have in my head, under 10, okay? Under 10!
Little boy #1: Eleven?
Little boy #2: No, under 10!
Little boy #1: A hundred?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The Avalanches
Mother: I’m pretty thirsty, honey. Are you thirsty?
Little girl: I’m not thirsty. I’m thirsty for toys!
–Museum of Natural History
Guy: You should let her get a picture with the Naked Cowboy.
Dad: She’s only six! She’s not getting a picture with him.
Little girl: Daddy? I’m six?
–Times Square
Guy: So that girl we just bumped into…she totally used to do tons of coke. But I think she stopped.
Girl: Isn’t she pregnant?
Guy: Yeah, well, babies cost lots of money.
–A train
Overheard by: kevin cooper
