Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Daughter: Yeah, we really wanna do the summer program in Germany.
Mom: Germany? Isn’t it weird that a Jewish school has a program in Germany, where the Nazis are?
Daughter: [Silence.]Friend: Well, they take you on tours of the concentration camps…
Mom: Oh, that’s why they have it in Germany!
–Macy’s
NYU girl: … So I, like, know that I got half of the questions right.
NYU guy: So, what about the other 20 percent?
–Queens-bound N train
Overheard by: ADC
Young woman: You felt me up while I was asleep!
Lying man: How do you know, if you were asleep?
Young woman: You stuck your fingers in my pussy while I was asleep!
Lying man: Why would I do that? There’s nothing in there that I was looking for.
Lying man’s lawyer: Come on, don’t argue with her.
Young woman: If they find your fingerprints in my pussy you’re going to jail, motherfucker!
Lying man, taunting: What if I wore gloves?
Young woman: Hear that? He confessed!
–Hallway, Supreme Court, Bronx
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy: You know what? Fuck you! F-C-U… Goddammit.
Girl: That’s right, dumbass!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: laughing my ass off
Bimbette: So, where you going for winter break?
Idiot dude: Switzerland.
Bimbette: Oh, cool, cool… What do they speak there, again?
Idiot dude: I dunno…
Bimbette: Hmmm… Dutch?
Idiot dude: Yeah, yeah, Dutch!
–78th St, between Park & Madison
Overheard by: dont speak ever again
Two moms enter with two sleepy 12-year-old girls and a 14-year-old boy.
Mom #1 to boy: Hey! Do that dance! Do your dance and ask everyone for money! Come on, get some change! [Boy sits next to a reading girl and leans on her.] Don’t you want money? Ask that girl for some money! Oh, hey, did I tell you the best thing about prison? They let you smoke up in there.
Girl #1: Weed?
Mom #2: The trick is getting friendly with the guards. You can’t just do it any time you want.
Mom #1: That’s right, because you gotta get a job in prison. I got three jobs. Hey! What’s that girl got? What’s she got? Hey, find out what’s she got!
Boy: Book! Hey. Book!
Mom #1: Book! Haha! You know what you need, son, is pussy. White pussy. White pussy that knows how to read. She’ll take care of you so you can do your business.
Old man enters train, looks at seat next to girls: Can I sit here?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Mom #2: Move your fucking ass, you lazy fucking piece of shit! No manners — my kids got no manners.
–F train from Queens to Brooklyn
Overheard by: Reading girl
Frustrated boyfriend: Stop acting stupid!
Frantic girlfriend: I’m not acting!
–A train
Overheard by: SarahJ
High school girl #1: Imagine posing for all of these artists.
High school girl #2: Yeah, but you’d be standing around naked all of the time.
High school girl #1: You probably didn’t have to be entirely naked.
–Vollard exhibit, the Met
Ghetto chick on cell: Yo, I don’t be unnastandin’ you — you mus’ be talkin’ foreign, ’cause you ain’t talkin’ no American. [Pauses, looking at girl next to her.] Yo, girl, you go to college? ‘Cause you looks smart. [Walks away, then stops at top of stairs, asking no one in particular] Yo, which way is down?
–Grand Central
