Bimbette: So, where you going for winter break?
Idiot dude: Switzerland.
Bimbette: Oh, cool, cool… What do they speak there, again?
Idiot dude: I dunno…
Bimbette: Hmmm… Dutch?
Idiot dude: Yeah, yeah, Dutch!
–78th St, between Park & Madison
Overheard by: dont speak ever again
Two moms enter with two sleepy 12-year-old girls and a 14-year-old boy.
Mom #1 to boy: Hey! Do that dance! Do your dance and ask everyone for money! Come on, get some change! [Boy sits next to a reading girl and leans on her.] Don’t you want money? Ask that girl for some money! Oh, hey, did I tell you the best thing about prison? They let you smoke up in there.
Girl #1: Weed?
Mom #2: The trick is getting friendly with the guards. You can’t just do it any time you want.
Mom #1: That’s right, because you gotta get a job in prison. I got three jobs. Hey! What’s that girl got? What’s she got? Hey, find out what’s she got!
Boy: Book! Hey. Book!
Mom #1: Book! Haha! You know what you need, son, is pussy. White pussy. White pussy that knows how to read. She’ll take care of you so you can do your business.
Old man enters train, looks at seat next to girls: Can I sit here?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Mom #2: Move your fucking ass, you lazy fucking piece of shit! No manners — my kids got no manners.
–F train from Queens to Brooklyn
Overheard by: Reading girl
Frustrated boyfriend: Stop acting stupid!
Frantic girlfriend: I’m not acting!
–A train
Overheard by: SarahJ
High school girl #1: Imagine posing for all of these artists.
High school girl #2: Yeah, but you’d be standing around naked all of the time.
High school girl #1: You probably didn’t have to be entirely naked.
–Vollard exhibit, the Met
Ghetto chick on cell: Yo, I don’t be unnastandin’ you — you mus’ be talkin’ foreign, ’cause you ain’t talkin’ no American. [Pauses, looking at girl next to her.] Yo, girl, you go to college? ‘Cause you looks smart. [Walks away, then stops at top of stairs, asking no one in particular] Yo, which way is down?
–Grand Central
Dude #1: Why is New York called the ‘Big Apple’? Maybe it’s if you put together the five boroughs on a map, it looks like a very big apple.
Dude #2: Yes, obviously! What else did you think it could have been?
–W 4th St & MacDougal
Overheard by: V
20-ish guy: Your glasses can’t be bad, you just got them!
20-ish girl: Yeah, but I cheated on the eye exam, so it’s really my own fault…
20-ish guy: … That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
20-ish girl: I can’t help it, I’m very competitive!
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
Female student #1: I feel bad for Czar Nicholas, because not only did he get overthrown and exiled, but Rasputin came in while he was gone and messed up his whole country.
Female student #2: What, you mean like in Anastasia?
Female student #1: No, I mean in, like, real life. The movie was based off real life.
Female student #2: Wait, you mean Rasputin was real?
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Andrew
NYU guy: Wait, so was it cocaine? It was cocaine, right?
Random girl at another table: Are you guys talking about Anna Nicole?
NYU guy: Yes! I missed the press conference! I feel, like, so irresponsible for not keeping up.
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chick #1 perusing lunch specials: God, that is so guh-ross!
Chick #2: What now?
Chick #1: That bloody roast beef thing right there… All of that red meat… It’s the flesh of animals! It’s so cruel and it makes me sick. I’m a total vegan these days.
Chick #2: Huh. Wait, didn’t you have a bacon and egg sandwich this morning?
Chick #1, haughtily: Yeah, but that’s not the actual flesh of any animal, now is it?
Chick #2: Wow. You are the first real idiot I’ve ever met.
–Cafe Europa, 6th Ave
Overheard by: BellaStella
