Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
Tourist lady #1: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the corner of Madison and Park?
Man: No such place. See, those streets run–
Tourist lady #2: Oh, he doesn’t know. We just came from there, so let’s just go back the way we came.
–34th & Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Guy: Hey a six-legged lamb was born in Belgium over the weekend.
Girl: Are they sure it wasn’t a four=legged spider?…I mean, a six-legged…I mean, a spider with wool?
–Office, Flatiron Building
Overheard by: Peter H
Suit: Who needs variety when we got fucking spiderlambs?
–51st & 6th
Chick: Let’s go to the other wing. I’m not that interested in seeing the modern art.
Guy: Then why are we at the Museum of Modern Art?
–The Met
Overheard by: djlindee
Worker guy: We’re going to try to get the line moving quicker. Anyone who is in a group of 2 or more people, have 1 person stand in line and buy tickets. The other members of your group can go to a waiting area and you can meet them there.
Tourist guy: But what if all 3 of us want to go up to the top?
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Tra
Old woman: Excuse me sir, do you have the time?
Suit: 8:45.
Old woman: Is that New York time?
–47th & 3rd
Mom: Do you know that she got into Brooklyn University? They must let everyone in there.
Dad: Brooklyn University?
Mom: Um, or maybe Long Island University? Or maybe Brooklyn University in Long Island?
–Shun Lee Cafe, West 65th Street
Yuppie guy: I want to have three kids. First a boy, then two girls.
Girl: What if it doesn’t happen in that order?
Yuppie guy: There are ways to make it happen.
Girl: Oh, like, different positions?
–48th & 7th
Guy #1: Hall of psychics!
Guy #2: That says “physics”.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Overheard by: mara
Chick #1: So I took out the butter, you know, in the butter dish.
Chick #2: And…
Chick #1: It had been an avocado, like a year ago.
Chick #2: Ew!
Chick #1: So I just skipped breakfast.
Chick #2: What did you do with it?
Chick #1: What do you mean, what did I do with it?
Chick #2: Like, did you throw the whole butter dish away or what?
Chick #1: I just put it back in the fridge.
Chick #2: Right.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn Heights
