Drunk guy on cell: Hello?
Lady on speaker: Larry, where are you? When are you coming home?
Drunk guy on cell: Who’s this?
–Russian Vodka Room, West 52nd Street
Drunk guy on cell: Hello?
Lady on speaker: Larry, where are you? When are you coming home?
Drunk guy on cell: Who’s this?
–Russian Vodka Room, West 52nd Street
Girl #1: It would be so crazy if we were all in an alternate universe and then saw ourselves hanging out here like we always do.
Guy: Then you would have to have sex with yourself.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I mean, if I could have sex with myself, I probably would.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Adrienne Walters
Teen boy: I haven’t read one page of that Animal Farm.
Teen girl: Apparently, because we’re reading 1984.
–6 train
Overheard by: jazz
Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?
–LaGuardia
Teen boy #1: Man, I don’t know what I would do…Three billion dollars is a lot of green, yo. What would you guys do?
Teen boy #2: Yo, I’d get me one of them golden showers, son.
Teen boy #1: Dude, that’s when someone pees on you.
–E train
Guy: I could become a sheriff. Don’t you have to take a test to become a sheriff? What if you have one of those disorders that you throw up whenever you take a test?
Girl: Well I guess you could get a note or something.
Guy: Oh yeah, you could be like, “I threw up on my test, that’s why it smells funny. Here’s a note.”
–F train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Lady #1: Hey, do you remember how that conversation with Jim started today?
Lady #2: Um, honestly, no.
Lady #1: Well, fuck you then! Ginka balinka, Alzheimer’s bitch!
–Office, Greenwich & Beach
Chick on cell: I need you to give me a ride home when I get off the bus. My grandma has been standing in front of my house for over one hour…I bet you anything she needs money again.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Julio
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before.
–NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street
