Terrorism

Tech geek guy: We really need to get a terrorism button.
Tech geek girl: Yeah, I totally agree. I’ve been having to use the old one, and I’m sick of it. A terrorism button would really make things easier.

–elevator, Newsweek building, 50th & Madison

Male intellectual: I was put in a mental hospital when I was fifteen. I still don’t know why. I asked a doctor at one point, “Why am I here?” and he said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re very mentally ill, and it will take you a long time to recover.” I said, “But what am I recovering from?” and he just said, “Don’t worry about it.” I still don’t know why I was there. The only reason I can think of is, I have a terrible temper.
Female intellectual: Yes, but sweetie, your temper? It’s abnormal. It’s not like a human temper. It’s insane.
Male intellectual: Well, maybe, but it’s not like I blew up the World Trade Center.

–Cafe Henri, Long Island City

Little boy: You be the president, and I’ll be the terrorist.

–Queens Blvd & 63rd St

Overheard by: Nina

Ghetto guy #1: Yo, you think that bitch is gonna blow up the train?
Ghetto guy #2: Nah, negro, she’s white.

–A train

Chick #1: Rosie is the queen of snot rockets.
Chick #2: Can you teach me?
Rosie: Do you have snot?

–Rodrigue’s Coffeehouse, Fordham University

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl #1: Look, that policewoman has a seeing-eye dog! Isn’t that cool?
Girl #2: Oh yeah, cool, they have them here for that anti-terrorism shit.
Cop lady: …Is she friggin’ kidding me?

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Tara B

Girl: When you were talking about Saddam Hussein, it reminded me of Osama bin Laden. Wasn’t he born here or something?
Professor lady: No…
Girl: Then he grew up here?
Professor: No…
College girl: Oh, right! He came here to go to an Ivy League, didn’t he?

–Tisch Hall, West 4th Street

Crazy guy: Hey! How are you?
Lady: Hello.
Crazy guy: This is my Ethiopian friend, we are going to get Osama!

–81st & Columbus