Fuck Amber Waves Of Grain– That's Our True National Treasure

Veteran on train: You know why America is the best country on earth?
NJ guy: Um, because we got the most stable economy and the greatest people. And because we fight terrorism where the rest of the countries aren't pulling their weight.
Veteran: Yep, I reckon that's all true. But I'll tell you, this week when I was visiting New York, I went to this soup place and ordered macaroni. And this macaroni was white, I mean with white cheese…not yellow. I mean, can you imagine white cheese? You think other countries have white cheese? I mean, in America you can have anything!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Horrified

Posted on February 3, 2018
B & T, Compare/Contrast, Ew, Jersey, Food, Strangers, Stupidity, Terrorism, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

That'll Be Five Dollars, Please

Crazy old lady: You're gonna have a bad year.
Guy: Thank you.
Crazy old lady: You're gonna have very bad luck… you could be in the next 9/11.

–7th Ave & 36th St

Posted on January 31, 2018
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Ground Zero, Guys, Old People, Psychic, Terrorism, Weirdness, Women

I Always Preferred Bin Laden Barbie

Older lady #1: He's a very nice guy. He looks like a terrorist, but he's so sweet.
Older lady #2, laughing: Really? Well, that's good.
Older lady #1: Yeah. He's so smart! Really bright, and really good at making you feel comfortable. I was so glad to have him helping us. But he definitely–if you look at him–he's like teddy Taliban.

–Waiting Room, NYU Hospital

Overheard by: Hector Hamas?

Posted on April 28, 2016
Compare/Contrast, Laughter, NYU, Old People, Physical appearance, Terrorism, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.

–N train, Astoria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eckerd, Astoria

Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St entrance, FDR

Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.

–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Stephen and Allison

Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!

–New York Public Library

Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library

Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.

–114th & Broadway

Posted on January 4, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Celebrities, D-List, Fashion, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Language Barrier, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Queers, Terrorism, Topics, Tourists, Trannies, TV, Women

Queens Seem to Attract Terrorism These Days

Woman #1: A car blew up on my street last night, and I was like,
“Here come the fuckin’ terrorists!”
Woman #2: Terrorists in Queens?
Woman #1: Not by me. Terrorists get shot in my neighborhood!

–E train

Posted on August 10, 2015
On the Subway, Only in New York, Terrorism, Women

Like, to Afghanistan?

Coworker #1: Hey, Times Square just got evacuated because of a bomb threat.
Coworker #2: Damn, I guess I have to head east for lunch.

–42nd St & Madison Ave

Posted on July 20, 2015
Coworkers, Food, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Terrorism, Threats

They Also Killed Themselves (Hint, Hint)

Tourist boy: Daddy, I hate Ground Zero. Can’t we go?
Tourist dad: Well, the terrorists hated it too, but they came here.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Steven Vames

Posted on July 16, 2015
Dads, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Parents, Street, Stupidity, Terrorism

Now I Know My Wednesday One-Liners, Next Time Won’t You Wednesday One-Liner With Me?

Little boy singing to mother: E is for druggies!

–R Train

Overheard by: Allegra

Crazy hobo: Take the V train! V is for vasectomy. Why take the crowded E train where all the lesbians will crush you?

–V Train Platform

Overheard by: Tom

Conductor: This is 14th Street. Transfer here for the L as in "lower level of hell".

–F Train

Overheard by: So True

Little boy playing with chopsticks: Look mom! (forms a V) V for Victoria! (forms an X) X for xylophone! (forms a T) and T for terrorist!

–Japanese Restaurant, 3rd & 25th

Conductor over loudspeaker: I know it’s Saturday afternoon and all you people are mad confused because the trains are all messed up on weekends, so listen up: The W as in "Will you marry me?" will be running on the Q as in "cookie" line. And the R as in (goes in operatic singing voice) "rooooooooooomeooooooooooo" will be running normally for the rest of the weekend. Alright y’all… There you go. Enjoy your Saturday!

–Canal Street Subway Station

Overheard by: stfo

Posted on July 4, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, Hobos, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Subway conductors, Terrorism, Words

Wednesday One-liners Do It 9 to 5

Naked suit: You know, if you’re a terrorist and you wanna get into a building, you should just say you’re from Price Waterhouse or Ernst & Young. Nobody asks any questions.

–Vanderbilt YMCA, East 47th Street

Overheard by: Palaverist

Posted on May 25, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Suits, Terrorism