Girl: Wait, is today September 11th?
Guy: Yeah, why?
Girl: Oh, my friend’s Vietnamese restaurant opens tomorrow!
–Waverly & Broadway
Girl: Wait, is today September 11th?
Guy: Yeah, why?
Girl: Oh, my friend’s Vietnamese restaurant opens tomorrow!
–Waverly & Broadway
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you.
The train pulls away.
Old lady: Fuckhead.
–23rd Street F station
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid‐50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand‐banana
Patriot: Happy motherfucking America Day, everyone!
20‐something: It’s called the 4th of July, dumbass.
Patriot: You shut your goddamn liberal commie bitch ass mouth, you fuckin terrorist!
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Little boy in stroller playing with toy car: Bomb! It’s a bomb!
Mom, wagging finger: It’s not a bomb, sweetie. Don’t say that.
Little boy: It’s a bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: We have a bomb! Play with the bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
–Manhattan‐bound 3 train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Broker #1: There was a suicide attack in Israel yesterday.
Broker #2: How many people died?
Broker #1: Luckily, only three. They did it in a resort town in the South called Eilat.
Broker #2: They probably did that to get away with it.
Broker #1: It’s a suicide attack. They don’t get away with it, they get blown to pieces.
–Office, Chrysler Building
Overheard by: BoredBroker
Security agent holding bottle of Axe body spray: You can’t take this in your carry‐on bag.
Guy: Why not?
Agent: Because of new Homeland Security regulations.
Guy: When did this happen?
Agent: Have you been living under a rock?
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Guy #1: I mean, imagine setting up a car bomb in Times Square, the most populated place in the world and then running away.
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s terrible.
Guy #1: I mean, say what you want about suicide bombers, but they give it their all…
–1 Train
Teacher to student: You don’t look like a golfer; you look like a terrorist.
–Brooklyn Tech
Flyer guy: No one goes to those run‐of‐the‐mill Broadway shows on a Saturday night! The only people going to them is the Bin Laden family, and you don’t want to sit next to them. They’ll blow you to smithereens!
–Times Square
Overheard by: annahj
Young kid, about fireworks nearby: Look, Mommy! They’re planning a terrorist attack!
–13th & 2nd
Dude: Prisons are nice, man. I’d rather go to prison than be out here with the terrorists! it’s safer in prison.
–Court & Livingston, Brooklyn
Overheard by: cary
Scruffy man to another, walking by where a food cart usually is: Hey, that food cart ain’t there?
Other man: You eat there! That’s supporting terrorists!
Scruffy man: So! That shit’s cheap!
–Post Office, 33rd St
