Wife: But, sweetheart, that sort of makes you a terrorist.
Husband: Look, just because I like to blow things up doesn’t make me a terrorist. I’m white!
–Norfolk & Rivington
Overheard by: Adam
Wife: But, sweetheart, that sort of makes you a terrorist.
Husband: Look, just because I like to blow things up doesn’t make me a terrorist. I’m white!
–Norfolk & Rivington
Overheard by: Adam
Old man: Hey, you just kicked my bag!
Young man: Dude, it was just sitting there. For all I know it has a bomb in it.
Old man: But I’m right here!
Young man: Look, you show me a bag that looks like a bomb and I’m gonna kick it, every time.
–Men’s room, Union Square Regal Cinemas
Tourist lady #1: Oh, it’s worth paying the cab fare. I mean, the subway…well, after September 11th it’s just not safe, you know?
Tourist lady #2: You’ve ridden the subway before?
Tourist lady #1: No, it smells weird.
–Hunt Valley bus
Overheard by: Katie Cheek
Prospective girl #1: OK, so tomorrow, let’s all wear our “I Heart NY” t-shirts.
Prospective girl #2: Yeah! And I can wear my Columbia sweatshirt over it!
–Morningside Heights
Toddler: Why is Jack-Jack’s name “Jack-Jack”? Why not regular Jack?
Mom: That’s just a nickname. I think his real name is just plain Jack.
Toddler: Can my nickname be Johann-Johann?
–1 train
Overheard by: Matt G
Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.]
–9th St & Ave B
Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch
Headline by: troy
Runners-Up:
· “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer
· “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED
· “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur
· “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez
Husband on airplane: I would rather beg for mercy from Saddam Hussein than from you.
Wife: He's dead, keep your insults current.
(ten minutes after)
Husband: Bin Laden, that's who I meant.
Wife: (silence)
Husband: Have a Life Saver.
Wife, annoyed: You giving me a green one?
–Flight over JFK
Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro
Guy: I was like, “Mom, listen…if a nuclear bomb goes off in New York City, then I’m going to worry about melting before radiation poisoning.”
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: J-Mo
Girl: Wait, is today September 11th?
Guy: Yeah, why?
Girl: Oh, my friend's Vietnamese restaurant opens tomorrow!
–Waverly & Broadway
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you.
The train pulls away.
Old lady: Fuckhead.
–23rd Street F station
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand-banana
Patriot: Happy motherfucking America Day, everyone!
20-something: It's called the 4th of July, dumbass.
Patriot: You shut your goddamn liberal commie bitch ass mouth, you fuckin terrorist!
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Graham Davis
