Chick: I don’t know — all the worry about oil prices and gas… [Dude throws sideways glance.] What does oil have to do with gas, anyway? You don’t put a can of oil in your gas tank.
Dude: You know what? You’re a dumbass.
–W 52nd St
Overheard by: Eric Shellhamer
Girl #1: Ewww! That doughnut looks like it’s covered in cum.
Girl #2: Mmm… If cum tasted like this I would give head everyday… I wish I tasted like this.
Girl #1: Word.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Berger
College girl: I think I’m going to have sex with him.
Queer: Really? Why?
College girl: Because I’m 20.
Queer: What’s his name?
College girl: Ummm…
Queer: Nice, real nice. You’re a class act.
College girl: I still have at least three years before I have to worry about being classy.
–X10 express bus
Girl # 1, looking at a picture: omg, I’m so fat
Girl #2: No.. you are just ano now.
Girl #3: It’s ani, not ano.
Girl #1: No, it’s def ano.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Neither Ani nor Ano
Brunette looking up from book: Did you know?
Blonde: What? What? You gotta tell me!
Brunette: Never mind. I don’t want you to know knowledge.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: that explains a lot
Girl: And to think I wasn’t sure what was going on with him! Then last night I was like why would someone care so much about my underwear if they didn’t want to get into it?
Guy: That’s a great question.
Girl: Isn’t it?
Guy: That should be on OverheardInNewYork.
–Perry Street
Bimbette: Those blankets are so soft!
Bored friend: Yeah…
Bimbette: I know, right? Don’t you ever just go to bed naked and rub them everywhere? It’s like a massage!
Bored friend: … Everywhere?
Bimbette: Yes, everywhere. Even your anus. It hurts sometimes [looks away in thought].
Bored friend: … Oh.
–9th & 4th
Overheard by: I didn’t want to know.
Girl: I hate southern people.
Friend: How can you hate all southern people?
Girl: I just do. Some people hate black people, some people hate Jewish people, I hate Southern people.
Friend: Why?
Girl: They’re so prejudiced.
–N train
Overheard by: Mystified Brooklynite
Prostitot #1: You know what I am totally afraid of? That I’ll say something dumb or mean in school, somebody will hear it then post it on their MySpace, and then, like, everyone will read it and think I’m dumb or something.
Prostitot #2: Oh, that is, like, easy to fix. All you do is put up a lot of pictures of you in, like, a bikini or your underwear or something, and then, like, everyone will be on your side if anybody says they heard you say something dumb or whatever. They’ll totally bash whoever made the nasty post about you saying they are jealous or some shit.
Prostitot #1: Wow, really?
Prostitot #2: Oh, yeah. Remember last semester when I got into that fight with Jaimie and she, like, posted the whole thing?
Prostitot #1: Yeah.
Prostitot #2: Well, the next day I put up that picture of me in the wet shirt. Everyone totally went after Jaimie saying she was just all jealous I had more friends on my page.
Prostitot #1: I am so going home now and putting up pictures of me in my underwear!
–F train
College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.
–110th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Nikki
