Girl: And to think I wasn’t sure what was going on with him! Then last night I was like why would someone care so much about my underwear if they didn’t want to get into it?
Guy: That’s a great question.
Girl: Isn’t it?
Guy: That should be on OverheardInNewYork.
–Perry Street
Bimbette: Those blankets are so soft!
Bored friend: Yeah…
Bimbette: I know, right? Don’t you ever just go to bed naked and rub them everywhere? It’s like a massage!
Bored friend: … Everywhere?
Bimbette: Yes, everywhere. Even your anus. It hurts sometimes [looks away in thought].
Bored friend: … Oh.
–9th & 4th
Overheard by: I didn’t want to know.
Girl: I hate southern people.
Friend: How can you hate all southern people?
Girl: I just do. Some people hate black people, some people hate Jewish people, I hate Southern people.
Friend: Why?
Girl: They’re so prejudiced.
–N train
Overheard by: Mystified Brooklynite
Prostitot #1: You know what I am totally afraid of? That I’ll say something dumb or mean in school, somebody will hear it then post it on their MySpace, and then, like, everyone will read it and think I’m dumb or something.
Prostitot #2: Oh, that is, like, easy to fix. All you do is put up a lot of pictures of you in, like, a bikini or your underwear or something, and then, like, everyone will be on your side if anybody says they heard you say something dumb or whatever. They’ll totally bash whoever made the nasty post about you saying they are jealous or some shit.
Prostitot #1: Wow, really?
Prostitot #2: Oh, yeah. Remember last semester when I got into that fight with Jaimie and she, like, posted the whole thing?
Prostitot #1: Yeah.
Prostitot #2: Well, the next day I put up that picture of me in the wet shirt. Everyone totally went after Jaimie saying she was just all jealous I had more friends on my page.
Prostitot #1: I am so going home now and putting up pictures of me in my underwear!
–F train
College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.
–110th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Nikki
Queer arguing with boyfriend: I’m just saying, I think it’s weird you shaved your balls and bought porn the one night that I was out of town.
–Outside Bergdorf’s, 5th Ave
Creepster on cell: Yeah, I wanted to tell you that I have that girl ready… The one for the video… You can’t hear me? I’m on a bus, not an airplane! It’s not like I have a cigar in my mouth or anything, and you’re telling me you can’t understand what I’m saying… Yes, I have her ready for the video… The girl! … About twenty minutes… Do you have Viagra in your house? Well go get some! You need Viagra so you can be hard for our movie!
–M4 bus
Overheard by: Hoping the 3rd grader next to me wasn’t paying attention
Queer on cell: I saw the most fucked-up porno the other day. This guy took his boot off, then smacked this other guy in the face with it, then came all over the table, and then made the other guy lick it up… Oddly enough, I was turned on by it. So, if you ever want to smack me with your boot, give me a call.
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Man sprinting up subway stairs: Hey, man, where peep shows at?
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Brian
20-something chick: He says we’ll all be sleeping in a farm house with a pornographer at her wedding.
–Dallas BBQ, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Nipples
Blonde girl: So, you’re from Puerto Rico and you just moved here? Wow, that’s so exciting! Do you speak Puerto Rican?
Puerto Rican girl: No, but I speak Mexican fluently.
–Tisch Hospital, 33rd & 1st
Overheard by: I speak mexican too
Girl #1, in Spanish: Yesterday I saw the movie The History of Violence.
Girl #2: Hey, is that the one about the penguins?
–Spanish class, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Espanola
30’s artist-type woman #1: Ok, so he was a decade younger. But I have an excuse!
30’s artist-type woman #2: His penis excused his age?
30’s artist-type woman #1: Well, I think it grew a half inch per year since the day he was born.
–9th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lauren
Brunette #1 to friend: I have like no idea what's going on in the world right now. I should start watching the news.
Brunette #2: Well, I heard that Italy is becoming less popular. You know, like on the Richter scale.
–78th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Teresa
