10-year-old gangsta #1: Yo, I got all kinds of bitches. Right now I gotta choose…
10-year old gangsta #2: Yo, what you talkin’ ’bout?
10-year-old gangsta #1: I got this young bitch… I gotta choose between a girl that’s my age or a younger woman.
–1 train
Overheard by: D. J.
Mom: Daniel, it’s time you started opening doors for me.
Son: Um… okay.
Mom: Well? [Gestures at doors.]Son: Oh! I thought you meant metaphorically…
–W 111th St
Overheard by: Talker’s Remorse
Headline by: Arliss Travers
Runners-Up:
· “…like When We Played Doctor.” – mike chmiel
· “Just Like Your Allowance” – nobody
· “No, I Meant Vaginally” – DanaLishs
· “Sorry, My Oedipus Complex Doesn’t Kick in for Another Year or Two.” – Andrew G
· “Thalidomide or No, You Work That Flipper Young Man” – bobofthejungle
· “The Birds and the Bees Talk Really Confused Me….” – Breanne S.
· “You Know, Like When You Tell Dad the Garden Needs Watering” – Jonty
Little boy: Is this a fighter plane?
Grandma: No. A fighter plane is quicker and can only fit two people.
Little boy: … Then why are there lasers?
–JFK
Overheard by: Adam Vine Whip
Headline by: Miss Edith
Runners-Up:
· “Dont EVER question lasers” – melissa
· “For the sharks, of course” – Britta
· “In case you start kicking the seat in front of you” – bobofthejungle
· “To Protect Us From Gay Marriage” – ImmaculatePizza
Nanny: You don’t want to watch the parade?
Little boy: They think… They think… They think the government should give them jobs even though they are from other countries, but they should just go back.
–Immigration march, 14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Teen boy in suit: Wow, look at that cute girl!
Teen boy with rolling book bag: Oh, yeah… I’d like to walk next to that.
–Citibank, Forest Hills
Headline by: Trey
Runners-Up:
· “And then I’d hold the fuck out of her hand” – NJgal
· “Chicks dig my sweet wheels” – Marissa
· “I Would Awkwardly Avoid Eye Contact with That Like A Motherfucker” – Leland
· “I’d Carry Her Books So Hard” – Barry P.
· “I’d stick my pen in that pocket protector!” – wannabenyc
Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
Eight-year-old black boy: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
Mom: I told you to stop that!
Eight-year-old black boy, three minutes later: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
–Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda
Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Boy #1: Polar bears don’t melt in water!
Boy #2: Yeah, they do. They swim in it and they disappear.
Boy #1: Wow, really?
–LIRR
Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.
–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint
