Nanny: You don’t want to watch the parade?
Little boy: They think… They think… They think the government should give them jobs even though they are from other countries, but they should just go back.
–Immigration march, 14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Teen boy in suit: Wow, look at that cute girl!
Teen boy with rolling book bag: Oh, yeah… I’d like to walk next to that.
–Citibank, Forest Hills
Headline by: Trey
Runners-Up:
· “And then I’d hold the fuck out of her hand” – NJgal
· “Chicks dig my sweet wheels” – Marissa
· “I Would Awkwardly Avoid Eye Contact with That Like A Motherfucker” – Leland
· “I’d Carry Her Books So Hard” – Barry P.
· “I’d stick my pen in that pocket protector!” – wannabenyc
Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
Eight-year-old black boy: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
Mom: I told you to stop that!
Eight-year-old black boy, three minutes later: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
–Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda
Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Boy #1: Polar bears don’t melt in water!
Boy #2: Yeah, they do. They swim in it and they disappear.
Boy #1: Wow, really?
–LIRR
Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.
–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint
Little boy pointing at St. Patrick’s Cathedral: Daddy, what is that?
Father: That’s a church. Maybe when you’re older we can go inside and look around.
Little boy: Daddy, are there rides in there?
Father: No, no rides.
–51st & 5th
Mother: Do they still have ninjas?
Six-year-old boy: Duh, Mom — in Japan.
Mother: Oh, I only knew about the Ninja Turtles.
–Escalator, Grand Central
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Middle school boy: Yo, you ever seen that show Sex and the City on HBO?
Three friends: No.
Middle school boy: I thought there’d be mad sex on it. There wasn’t any! They should call that show ‘White Bitches Talking.’
–Brooklyn Middle School
