Boys

Little boy, looking at transvestite: Daddy, is that a boy or a girl?
Dad: It’s a boy.
Little boy: But boys don’t wear dresses!
Transvestite: Child, you got a lot to learn.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Jeremy

Dad, to little boy holding on to chain-link fence: Get off of that! You can’t climb on that!
Son: But why?
Dad: Because it’s art! And I said so.

–Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park, DUMBO

Overheard by: Lady

The Buddha Is Filled With Compassion For the Suffering Cement

Woman: Aren’t your feet hot on the pavement?
Little barefoot boy: Yeah, but that’s okay. The ground is really hot, too.

–Washington Square Park

Little boy: I wanna get high!
Mom: Shhh!

–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn

Teen boy #1: Well, it’s too bad once they have their clothes off you can’t get rid of them.
Teen boy #2: Oh, well I’d be like, “Bitch, what do you think you’re doing? You beast!”
Teen boy #1: Yeah, I guess you can do that. Just like get them naked and then analyze their bodies, and then dismiss them.
Teen boy #2: Exactly!

–86th & 19th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: kelly

High school boy: I met him when he was doing coke at my lunch table.
High school girl: He’s a really good guy.

–Bay Parkway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: W

Dad: Ok, ok, it’s two outs, we’ll go after this batter.
Boy: Dad, I want water!
Dad: You know what I see? An impatient little boy who can’t wait five minutes.
Boy: You know what I see? Someone who’s gonna have their face broken because they didn’t have any water!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Father: And that’s where Mommy is.
Little boy: That’s where the penis is!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: E.B. Dresner

Teen girl #1: Yeah, I ran away once, ’cause like, my parents were making me study for a science test.
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, you so don’t have any problems. My parents are making me get a job!
Teen boy: Not having money to buy food is a problem. Not having an apartment is a problem.

–F train

Young teen boy: She obviously must wear push-up bras, cause sometimes it's big and sometimes it's smaller!
Young teen girl: I wore push-up bras in like, 5th grade. But once you start wearing them you can't stop, cause then everyone will know! But I don't need them anymore, I caught up.

–F Train

Overheard by: TheKatiedidntwearpushupsin5thgrade…

Headline by: Fresca

Runners-Up:
· “But I’m Still Wearing Pull-Ups Panties” – JohnnyB
· “No Boobies Left Behind Is Working Splendidly for American Youth” – rachel
· “Overheard at Dolly Parton Junior High School” – Vasyl
· “Somewhere There’s a Salvation Army Stocked with Wonderbras…” – RaRa
· “What You Call “Catching Up” Everyone Else Calls “Augmentation Surgery”” – If I can touch em.

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