Guy, about honking nearby: Yeah, that’s gonna get traffic moving. You just have to honk harder. [More honking.] Yeah, that’s the spirit.
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Guy, about honking nearby: Yeah, that’s gonna get traffic moving. You just have to honk harder. [More honking.] Yeah, that’s the spirit.
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Confused tourist driver, after traffic cop blocks left turn: But I don’t know this way. Where am I supposed to turn?
Traffic cop: What the hell do I care? You figure it out!
–Church & Duane
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Ghetto girl crossing against the light, as cabbie honks: Dat’s right! Dat’s right! Dat’s right! Hit me! I needs the fuckin’ money!
Brit tourist, waiting for ‘Walk’ light: Oh, how charming.
–32nd & 7th
Overheard by: Just Trying to Make My Train
Man, slamming on hood of taxi inching forward: Hey! I’m walkin’ here! [Turns to people behind him] Where’s that from?
Lady passerby: Midnight Cowboy!
–50th & Broadway
Hipster chick, about funeral procession: What the hell?! I need to cross!
Old goatee guy: Um, it’s a funeral.
Sensitive chick: Oooh, it’s a funeral.
Hipster chick: I’m going to cross anyway. Does that make me insensitive? [She and others cross.]Old goatee guy: Bitches.
–16th St & Prospect Park West
Guido: You know what it would mean if I drove a Saab? It would mean I have a big dick.
–Sheepshead Bay theater
Overheard by: sprinkles
JAP on cell: Well, if you guys need a ride I need to call Daddy and tell him to bring the Infinity, not the BMW… Wow, that sounded really JAP-y.
–49th, between 8th & 9th
Restaurant flyer guy: Why a Lamborghini costs so much we don’t know, but we do have food!
–96th & 3rd
Overheard by: Drewster
Guy: We either gotta pay the Russian drivers, threaten the Russian drivers, or kill the Russian drivers.
–Financial District
Ghetto lady: That’s the only thing you can do in a van with no air conditioning — sing.
–Maspeth & Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn
Hardhat #1 with pavement-smoothing machine: It won’t start.
Hardhat #2: I tell ya, if it’s got tits or wheels, it’s gonna give ya problems.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Mo
Bearded motorcyclist, after being cut off: Hey, fucker!
Meek guy in Honda, out window: Sorry, sir.
–15th St & West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Small boy pointing to stick shift: What’s that?
Uncle: That’s the stick shift for driving the car.
Small boy: Oh. Does Auntie drive a fish stick ,too?
–Yankee Stadium parking lot
Hot nerdy girl, excitedly: Well, I want a car that’s like a cuttlefish! Like, it can change colors and escape from danger and stuff!
Boyfriend: [Blank stare.]Hot nerdy girl: I think that’d be awesome.
Boyfriend: … You’re kinda cute, and I love you.
–82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Vicksburg
