Soft spoken Greek man at McDonald's counter: Excuse me, do you have breakfast?
Large uninterested lady employee: Honey, we got all the breakfast you want. (points to pictures)
Soft spoken Greek man: Uhm… where is this breakfast?
Lady employee, getting mad: Right up here–anything you want!
Soft spoken man Greek man: So what kind of omelet are you serving today?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: David
Female shopper: How much are these?
Male employee: Those are… What are those? Oh, right, the straight boyfriend. Those aren't on sale.
–Gap Dressing Room, 86th & Broadway
Overheard by: minerfa
Customer: I'd like a footlong meatball sub on wheat.
Manager: What would you like on your balls, sir?
–Subway Restaurant
Overheard by: Mondoman
Indian counter-person #1 to girl buying beer: Do you want a straw?
Girl: No, thanks.
Indian counter-person #2: I hear you get more fucked up if you drink it from a straw.
–Spring & Mott
Overheard by: Clannah
Lady to cashier: Can you front me a slice 'til I get my check?
Cashier: Sorry, no.
Lady: C'mon, man. I come here all the time.
Cashier: Yeah, so?
Lady: Man, you suck. You don't know what it's like. I have to buy Pampers and food and crack.
–Pizzeria, Harlem
Overheard by: Rufio
Guy holding baking mix: Excuse me, where's the vegetable oil?
Employee: We don't have vegetable oil, but I think canola oil should work fine with that.
Guy, sarcastically: Oh, you think canola oil would work?
–Trader Joe's, 14th St
Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!
–The Diner Restaurant, Midtown
MoMA desk rep: Today is free. Take your tickets.
MoMA guest: Are the tickets free? How much?
MoMA desk rep: No. For you, twice as much.
MoMA guest: Why? Cause I'm black?
–MoMA
Overheard by: Oh Kelly…
Headline by: The Limey
Runners-Up:
· “I Think a Child Was Left Behind” – samson
· “No, Because You’re Stupid… But Those Might Be Related” – john grisham
· “No, Cuz You Aint Learnt Your Zero Times Tables” – no math wiz but
· “The NYC Stupidity Tax Still Catches People by Surprise” – Ron D.
· “Yes, You’ve Heard Of Ladies Night? This Is White Day” – Leary Blaine
· “You’re Black Yet You Don’t Understand the Concept Of a Free Government Handout?” – BenGay
Attendee at Microsoft event: So what's a Zune?
Zune rep: It's a music and media player that…
Attendee: So, it's an iPod?
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Peter Pentacostle
Boy at Chinese restaurant, looking at food: Is that a crab?
Girl at other table: That's what she said!
–Canal Street, Chinatown
Overheard by: eric
