Middle-aged white lady: Excuse me, where is Shanghai?
Asian girl: You in the wrong country.
Middle-aged white lady: No! I mean Shanghai Restaurant.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: confused
Middle-aged white lady: Excuse me, where is Shanghai?
Asian girl: You in the wrong country.
Middle-aged white lady: No! I mean Shanghai Restaurant.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: confused
College girl #1: Which way to the Eiffel Tower?
Suit, puzzled, pointing East: That way?
College girl #2: How far is it?
Suit: … About three thousand miles.
College girl #1: No! No! [Makes peak with fingertips of both hands.] The… Eiffel… Tower!
Suit: Yeah, that way about three thousand miles — across the Atlantic Ocean — in Paris.
College girl #2, also making peak with hands: No! No! It’s a… It’s a… The Empire State Building!
Suit, pointing at looming Empire State Building: The Empire State Building is right there.
College girl #2: You have to excuse us — we’re from Oregon.
–45th & 5th
Woman: Whoopsie!
Male friend #1, drunk: Whoooopsie!
Male friend #2: So, this train goes to Atlantic Avenue, right?
Woman: Right.
Male friend #2, pulling out mini map: So, we’re here… and Atlantic Avenue is…
Woman, lowering voice: You’re standing too close to that girl.
Male friend #1, drunk: What? No I’m not.
Woman: Yes, you are. You’re right in her face.
Drunk man: Oh, she doesn’t care. She’s Korean.
–Q train
Overheard by: the 6′ tall white girl he was standing WAY too close to
Wife: Okay, so he said a right, and then a left at flatware…
Husband: And then follow the yellow brick road?
–Bed, Bath & Beyond, Chelsea
Overheard by: jackattack
Suit #1: We don’t know where we’re going… Keep going straight?
Suit #2: We’ll figure something out…
Suit #1, two stops later: You want to get off, or go one more?
Suit #2: Let’s keep going — roll the dice.
–F train
Overheard by: Xavier
Man #1: We’ve got to get the L train goingleft!
Man #2: No, we’ve got to get the L train going right!
–C train platform, Penn Station
Overheard by: courtenay
Dude: Do any of these trains go under water?
Chick: Yeah, you can feel it getting colder. It’s so cool.
Dude: Which train is it?
Chick: It’s one of those trains that goes from Brooklyn to Manhattan. I think it was the B or the G…
–6 train, Brooklyn Bridge City Hall
B&T Yankee fan, staring at subway map: It’s stopping at all of them… It skipped three. How do you know where it stops?
Conductor: 59th Street, transfer here for the N, R, Q, W, and Six.
B&T Yankee fan, still staring at map: Maybe we should get off here? Is this the one we got off last time? Maybe we should have taken the A. It goes right to Penn, right? Does this not stop at the black dots?
–4 train
Overheard by: Jess McGins — I eventually intervened
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to downtown?
Local: Downtown where?
Tourist: Times Square.
–N/Q uptown platform, Canal St
Guy #1: There’s a laundromat! Should we get off?
Guy #2: No, let’s get off on the way back. Then we’ll be on the right side.
Guy #1: We’re on the right side now.
Guy #2: But there’s no way down to the street on this side.
Guy #1: The stairs are right there.
Guy #2: But they aren’t safe.
–Metro-North
