Nerdy 35-year-old accountant: Sorry about burping in your face. I had three slices of bacon pizza for lunch.
Horrified female intern: I can tell.
Nerdy 35-year-old accountant: It was delicious.
–Corporate office, 17th & 5th
Overheard by: Other Intern Laughing his ass off
Ghetto kid: Real gangstas get it down on the flo’, on the flo’.
Nerdy kid: What’s a flo’?
–Info Tech High
Overheard by: mary alice v.
Teen #1: Alright, how about Christian Bale-John Preston, or Christian Bale the Batman?
Teen #2: Definitely the Batman.
Teen #1: Yeah, but it’s John Preston.
Teen #2: Look, Bruce Wayne would kick John Preston’s ass, Grammaton Cleric or no.
Teen #1: You know we’re gonna be single forever, right?
–NYU
Overheard by: Trevor Reznik all the way
Geek #1: Wow. You’ve got a death metal shirt on top of a death metal shirt on top of another death metal shirt!
Geek #2: No, it’s a black metal shirt on top of a death metal shirt on top of another black metal shirt!
Geek #1: Oh! It’s a sandwich!
–Grassroots, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Meli$$a
White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.
–45th & 9th
Nerd #1: Didn’t Ford’s body get shipped to Washington?
Nerd #2: No.
Nerd #1: Oh. Then I must have seen that on 24 or something.
–Union Square
Chubby girl: I don’t do well with fingers in my ass, but I’m pretty good with balls in my mouth. I’ll tell you a story, but if it gets too personal just tell me to stop.
Nerdy boy: Alright.
Chubby girl: I was at Jason’s house, and, mind you, we were in an awkward position — kind of half-sitting, half-laying down — but it’s always awkward when you’re half asleep, you know? Well, we started kissing, and then my negligee fell down. It literally fell down below my breasts. And Jason was like, ‘I don’t know if I’m comfortable with your toplessness…’
–6 train
Guy on cell: I finally figured out why I have no sons — no woman will sleep with me.
–Penn Station
Computer geek: I was leveling up my Wizard… Man, I’m never going to have sex.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Irbs
Loud NYU chick on cell: So, there was this guy there that kept announcing he needed to get laid… Yeah, I know. And I’m thinking, ‘Dude, you don’t let the world know you need to get laid, you just get laid,’ you know what I mean? I mean, I need to get laid, too, but I’m not letting the world know that!
–Au Bon Pain, E 8th St
Black lady on cell: … So the doctor says, ‘Tell me about your sex life.’ I told him, ‘I don’t have a sex life. I hate everyone.’
–6 train
Overheard by: SilentButDeadly
Dork #1 snickering and pointing at deli awning: D and D deli!
Dork #2: I gotta get a picture of that!
–Soho
Guy #1: I bought Xbox to play Spiderman 2.
Guy #2: I bought it to play Knights of the Old Republic.
Guy #3: I bought PlayStation One to play Final Fantasy Seven.
Chick: You’re all losers who don’t deserve girlfriends.
–Office, 47th & 6th
Overheard by: Joe
