When You’re in Her, You’re Family

Girl: What about that one ugly girl?
Guy: Man, she is so ugly. I would not touch that shit.
Girl: But you already fucked her!
Guy: Yeah, but it was only once. And I used a rubber.

Guy: You’re an ugly cheating cocksucking whore; you’re a fucking ugly slut. But you know why I stay with you? We have compatible personalities.

Guy: I hate that bitch. I want to fuck her in the ass.
Girl: But baby, you like to fuck me in the ass.
Guy: Yeah baby, but you like it when I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Yeah, it doesn’t hurt so bad when you remember to breathe.

Girl: So when we get married are you gonna stop fucking my sister?
Guy: But I’ve been fucking her for a while now…It’s like a habit.

–Olive Garden, Times Square

Overheard by: helen r.

Posted on December 29, 2005
Assholes, Backdoor, Condoms, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Infidelity, Insults, Questions, Violence

Poor Overworked Kristina Kringle

Chick #1: Ohio is way different. Nobody walks anywhere, we all drive cars.
Chick #2: Oh yeah. Cars be expensive. I work 3 jobs right now.
Chick #1: Ha, ha…really?
Chick #2: I work at Macy’s, McDonalds, I babysit, and my dad has a
business that I have to help run because he is so damn drunk.

–R train

Posted on December 24, 2005
Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Girls, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, U.S. Geography

Not as Sick as “Grody” Usage

Queer #1: Ick. He’s like, your cousin or something.
Queer #2: First cousin. Second cousin. Once removed.
Queer #1: But not a cousin cousin.
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #1: That’s still grody.
Queer #2: I love that skirt on her.

–33rd & 8th

Posted on November 27, 2005
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Family Ties, Queer guys

The Womb of Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: I don’t want your money, just the rights to your son.

–44th & 5th

Overheard by: Anonymous

Posted on November 2, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Business and Commerce, Family Ties, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell

That’s What’s On His Business Cards

Tween girl #1: So like apparently my brother is engaged.
Tween girl #2: Really? Since when?
Tween girl #1: I dunno, found out at breakfast this morning.
Tween girl #2: Didn’t he like just finish high school?
Tween girl #1: Yeah, but she’s like still 17 and she’s got a two year old so she’s way worse off than him.
Tween girl #2: Well is it his kid?
Tween girl #1: Who knows? He’s not tellin’.
Tween girl #2: Probably is…what a man-ho slut wedder.

–F train

Overheard by: Supertramp

Posted on October 28, 2005
Advice, Age/Aging, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tweens

Wednesday One-liners Keep It in the Family

Guy on cell: Yeah I know her, my sister went out with her when she was still a man.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Barry Divola

Posted on October 26, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Dating, Family Ties, On Cell, Washington Square Park

Maybe That Shouldn’t Be in Italics

Man: Oh, we are going to see my niece. My sister is so proud of her, she’s on Broadway.
Woman: That’s wonderful. What is she playing?
Man: She’s in Chicago playing one of the whores.

–Amtrak train

Overheard by: Moises

Posted on October 24, 2005
Broadway Shows, Family Ties, Strangers, Trains Not Subway

Family Ties